There are more heterosexuals practicing anal sex than there are gay men.
A National survey in 2002 showed 34% of all men reporting having had anal sex with their opposite sex partner. If heterosexuals make up 90% of the population, as is often suggested, then clearly 34% of them makes up a higher number than the percentage of gay men who have anal sex. Therefore fudge packing is no longer just a gay thing. In fact, back in the 90’s, they were calling it “the new black”, cause I guess once you try it, you’ll never go back, lol.
Every person who opposes adoption by gays and lesbians should adopt a child.
Pastor Ted Haggard was the president of a 30 million member, world wide, Evangelical, Christian faith. If even half of those members, most of whom oppose gay adoption, would adopt even one child, there would be no children left in the world to adopt. It’s easy to criticize gays and lesbians who make life sacrifices to raise an estimated 4% of all children adopted in the USA. People who oppose gay adoption, yet refuse to adopt a child themselves, are not worthy of making any statement, as they are truly adding to the epidemic of homeless children in the world, not solving the problem. A recent study showed that children of lesbians and gays fare just as well as those of heterosexual parents. As the co parent of two adopted children with my same sex partner, I’d go a step further and say that our kids do even better than most. This is because our kids aren’t exposed to socially crippling notions of racism or bigotry that permeate the Evangelical right wing movement against us. So, the next time someone tells you that gays should not be allowed to adopt, ask them how many adopted children they have. That should shut them up fast.
Being gay is not a sin, it’s a part of nature.
A lot of self righteous hypocrites like to say that God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve! Well, I’ve got news for them, God created Adam and Eve, yes, and Adam and Steve, like all the rest of us, came from the incest between Adam, Eve and their offspring. There are no two ways about it people. If you believe the Christian bible, you must admit that we all sprang from the seed of incest. Whether or not you find this to be God’s holy plan to populate the planet, the fact remains indisputable. Therefore, it stands to reason that the sin of incest, which is admonished more often in the bible than homosexuality, was clearly allowed back in the day when the world was under populated by humans. Fast forward 2000 years, and all you have to do is look around at the chaos on our planet to understand that we no longer need to populate it. In fact, millions are starving every day because of a world food shortage. Natural resources are being used up faster than their replacements can be invented, and soon, entire countries will suffer water shortages. Is this God’s ultimate plan? And if homosexuality is not a part of God’s ultimate plan, then is it God’s will that all homosexuals pro create and contribute to the world’s overpopulation crisis? That makes no sense at all does it? Clearly, homosexuals were placed on Earth to decline the population by some degree. We’re among every race, religion and group of people, all over the world. The vast majority of gays and lesbians do not pro create, therefore, we are helping the planet, not harming it. Those of us who adopt children, are doing the world a service, while fulfilling a life of suburban mediocrity all across America. Even if being gay is a sin, which my common sense tells me is not so, what would make it rank among the worst of sins, giving it the power to incite so much violence in the name of a, so called, loving God? My perspective on sin is that the more people a sin harms, the worse the sin is. Gays and lesbians are harming nobody, and often do more for society than our heterosexual counterparts do. Anyone who wants to judge our sin, and weigh it along with those that harm children, families, or anyone else, is just targeting us based on their own inner hatred. That hatred, in and of itself, is a far greater sin that being gay ever could be. When you judge another person, without looking into the mirror of your own soul, you are deflecting your own sin on them, and that’s all you will get back in this life. I don’t think God gives a damn who we have sex with, in this overpopulated world, as long as we are not contributing to the suffering of others. Nearly 1/3 of 1500 animal species studied, in their natural environments, are scientifically proven to show homosexual traits, including same sex bonding and child rearing. There is not a person on this planet who can convince me that being gay is a sin, when I can clearly see the benefits of homosexuality and it’s place in our world.
Bisexuals are not confused
As a bisexual man, living in a gay relationship with the same man for nearly 18 years, I am always offended by those who label bisexuals as “confused”. Like everyone else in the sexual spectrum of life, bisexuals know where we fit into that spectrum. I am 75% gay and 25% straight, if that helps you understand where my orientation lies. Being more attracted to men, I find it easier to maintain a relationship with a man than I do a woman. There’s nothing confusing about it. Bisexuals are as capable of monogamy as anyone else. Temptation is temptation, and if a person is weak, it doesn’t matter who is tempting them, male or female. To believe that a bisexual person is more likely to cheat than a gay or straight person is an unfair assumption. The ability to commit to any relationship requires a personal bond of love between partners, of any sex. Bisexuals are just as capable of picking one person and loving them for life as anyone else is. I find that the majority of flack I get about being openly bisexual comes from people who just want to hook up with me, and use it as an insult when they feel rejected by my commitment to remain monogamous with my man!
Marriage is not a religious institution
As long as the word marriage is printed on marriage licenses, then it’s a government institution. As long as marriage is recognized on a Federal level and offers benefits to those who take part in it, then it’s a government institution. Churches that argue against same sex marriage cannot be forced, under any law, to perform same sex wedding ceremonies. That would violate their freedom of religious expression. However, churches that currently want to perform same sex weddings are being denied that same religious freedom of expression by our government who says these ceremonies lack the legal rights entitled to all heterosexual adults in the USA. If marriage is a religious institution, then why do all divorces take place in a government court room? Clearly marriage is a legal institution that all citizens should be entitled to equally. Gays aren’t the ones trying to change the definition of marriage. Those who are trying to define it as being between a man and a woman are, and they’re leaving the word equality out of that definition.
I hope you enjoyed these little known facts, and that you will put them to use in your own debates with those who just don’t get it.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The Voice of a Gay Child. An original poem by Chaz
I’m the voice of a child, hear my cry
I’m the voice of a child, don’t let me die
My voice has been silenced for so long
I never learned the words to society’s song
I’m not one of you, I’m just one of me
I’m lost and alone, and I want to break free
I’m calling out, I’m screaming your name
I’m begging for help to end this pain
Please show me the way, cause I’m down on my knees
Please show me a God, cause I wanna believe
There got to be a better way
My parents are beating me because I’m gay
It hurts just to say it, the words come out queer
No wonder I’m awkward and strange and so weird
Nobody loves me, nobody can
I’ll never grow up to be a “normal” man
Oh no, here she comes again, what’s that in her hand?
I’m crying, I’m bruising, in her bloody reprimand
Oh Mom, please stop beating me
Please stop defeating me
Only she cannot hear me
She can only fear me
Her fear controls
All my future goals
And I cannot see
Any future for me
I am dying inside
I am losing my pride
I am fading away
I was young and gay
Only an echo of my cry lingers on
I’m the voice of a child and now
I’m gone
The following video was created with youtube clips
I’m the voice of a child, don’t let me die
My voice has been silenced for so long
I never learned the words to society’s song
I’m not one of you, I’m just one of me
I’m lost and alone, and I want to break free
I’m calling out, I’m screaming your name
I’m begging for help to end this pain
Please show me the way, cause I’m down on my knees
Please show me a God, cause I wanna believe
There got to be a better way
My parents are beating me because I’m gay
It hurts just to say it, the words come out queer
No wonder I’m awkward and strange and so weird
Nobody loves me, nobody can
I’ll never grow up to be a “normal” man
Oh no, here she comes again, what’s that in her hand?
I’m crying, I’m bruising, in her bloody reprimand
Oh Mom, please stop beating me
Please stop defeating me
Only she cannot hear me
She can only fear me
Her fear controls
All my future goals
And I cannot see
Any future for me
I am dying inside
I am losing my pride
I am fading away
I was young and gay
Only an echo of my cry lingers on
I’m the voice of a child and now
I’m gone
The following video was created with youtube clips
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Definition Of Marriage
What does it mean to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered? Well, if you live in America, it mean that you do not have equality. While there are those who disagree, it is clearly indisputable. An estimated 90% of the U.S. population is granted a legal “FREEDOM“, which is recognized on a state and/or Federal level, and the other 10% is refused that same freedom. That freedom is marriage. The freedom to marry the one person you choose to spend your life with is what is being denied to US citizens who are LGBT. We cannot continue to say that we live in a democracy when any freedom is not extended to all citizens. With the loss of freedom comes the inevitable loss of rights. There are currently 1.049 legal rights associated with marriage that are being denied to LGBT couples and their children in the USA. Nobody is asking for gay rights. We are demanding equality, under the law and the constitution of the United States of America.
The definition of marriage.
Main Entry: mar·riage
Pronunciation: \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry
Date: 14th century
1 a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriageb : the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock c : the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage
2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
3 : an intimate or close union
As we can see, the Webster’s dictionary, America’s most widely used resource for defining our language, has updated it’s definition of the word marriage to include same sex couples. There is no mention of the word religion in this definition at all.
Still, the right wing would have you believe that marriage is a sacred, religious right, but is it really? The bible tells us more about marriage than it does about homosexuality. In fact, the bible contradicts itself, on the issue of divorce. Under certain circumstances, divorce is okay. For example, if your wife becomes ugly and fat, it’s okay to divorce her. If you find out your wife was not a virgin when you married her, and who’s not going to take your “manly” word for it, well you can just have her publicly stoned to death, and pick out a new virgin bride to spend eternity with. Then, of course there’s the fact that Muslims, and even some Mormon extremists, believe in having multiple wives. I think the sacredness of marriage gets watered down with every wife a man has. How much more sacred can a man’s bond with 50 wives be than that of two men who only love each other? And if religion “owns” the word marriage, as it claims to, then why doesn’t it also own the word “divorce”. If marriage is not a legal institution, as it is claimed, but rather, a religious one, then why do half of all marriages in the USA end in divorce court?
Nobody is demanding that any church perform same sex wedding ceremonies. This is a myth that is used to fuel the bigotry of the right wing. Churches retain the same right to refuse to marry any couple they choose. No church can claim the right to the word marriage, unless every church can. Unless God descends from heaven today with an affidavit, and an endorsement of one, or more, of these religions, that gives them the word marriage, they don’t own it. For as long as the word marriage is printed on state and Federal legal documentation, paid for by the tax dollars of LGBT citizens, then it should be a freedom that is extended to all, as is. In fact, churches that would gladly perform same sex wedding ceremonies are having their religious freedom imposed upon by laws which prohibit them from fulfilling their religious obligation. Just so it’s clear, no religion has a monopoly on the word marriage.
Taxation without representation:
When women in the USA are paid, on average, up to 25% less than men, in the workforce, it is taxation without representation. These women are shelling out huge chunks of their paychecks to fund a government that isn’t doing everything it can to ensure their equality in the workforce. Why should women be forced to fund their own victimization? While these tax dollars would be better spent on lobbyists for women’s rights, they are pooled into the National economy and end up on some state senator’s plate as pork spending. Why? It’s because this is the United States of Corporate America, and those corporations are run by, mostly, right wing, religious nuts, who still believe that women should be barefoot and pregnant. This is, but a small sampling of the right wing hatred against gays and lesbians.
Gay and lesbian couples are refused social security benefits for their partners. They are refused spousal, healthcare benefits. They are refused the ability to file joint income tax returns, often resulting in a loss of hundreds of dollars, in annual income, per couple. It is not just these couples who suffer, as a result of this. It is their children as well. Even in a healthy economy, every family needs every dollar they can hold onto. Gay and lesbian couples have always paid into the same tax system as everyone else. To be denied a civil right or freedom is one thing, but to be robbed of the money you would have earned for being heterosexual, by your own government, is absolutely taxation without representation.
When you get past the sexual aspects of any relationship, between any couple of any sex, it all boils down to this. We are all nothing more than decaying, biological creatures who are forced to live amongst one another on this planet we find ourselves on. Most of us have the same 5 senses and bodily functions. Those of us who are lucky have found another biological creature to decay with. Anyone who claims to be in love, yet fails to recognize that same emotion in others, is not in love, they are in denial. The word marriage is mine, and it’s yours, and it’s everybody’s. The hypocrisy that has denied this freedom for so long is being unveiled, and America is finally beginning to see that there is no difference between the love that any committed couple shares, gay or straight. It’s been said that a rose by any other name is still a rose. The same can be said about love. Any heterosexual couple who cannot see the similarities between my love and theirs, doesn’t have a love as strong as mine. For anyone who loves their life partner as much as I love mine, can easily recognize that same love in any other couple. To see that love, and then deny it equality is, in my honest opinion, a damnable sin, if there ever was one.
What any organized religion thinks about marriage is irrelevant to the law. There is a clear separation between church and state. Churches have violated this separation by funding the passing of Proposition 8, the law which bans same sex marriage in California. It’s time for the government to revoke the tax free status of Focus on hating the gay family and any religious organization contributing to the National organization against same sex marriage. The only good thing to come out of all their protesting is the fact that these organizations have nearly broken themselves in California, and will have a hell of a time fighting our equality in other states. We will keep fighting for our rights, and they will keep going broke. Eventually, we will have equality, and they will all be meeting up in a country trailer every Sunday to throw change into a tin plate! The more society learns that homosexuals are not the monsters the right wing wants us to be, the less power the right wing has to abuse. We are stronger and we can outlast the haters and their hate money. It’s time for them to start focusing on their own families now. We’ve had enough of the hypocrisy.
Regardless of how you feel about civil unions, you do not own the word marriage. Religious gays have every right to a wedding ceremony that heterosexuals do, in the church they are accepted into. The more I examine this topic, the more I realize that LGBT people will not be satisfied until the government finally fulfills it’s democratic promise to the people and offers true equality to all of us. Until then, the democracy of every single American citizen is at risk. When they came for the Jews, the gays stood up, and some were taken and tortured and made to wear the pink triangle. When they came for the blacks, the gays stood up, and joined the Rainbow coalition to fight racism. Well, now, they’re coming for the gays. Will you stand up? Will you allow this injustice to continue, or will you rise up against it and speak out? The choice is yours. This is a revolution friends. We are making history. Let’s make the first decade of the new millennium the beginning of a new era of freedom and equal rights for all. Get out there and let your voice be heard. It’s the only way that we are going to make a difference.
I consider myself to be an “arm chair” activist. This doesn’t mean that my activism is any less affective than those who show up at every equality march. I show up for those I can, but my resources and time are limited, and mainly focused on my own family. People are always asking me how they can help. Well, it’s not going to be by sending me money. I never ask for it. Your funds are better off going directly to someone in need. Give a friend with a terminal illness my cd, but don’t buy anything from anybody who isn’t gay friendly. It starts with a sincere desire to help your own community, and it ends with people connecting in a way that helps everybody.
If you have online friends you communicate with, then you are already a citizen journalist. Every time you post a blog or a status update or a tweet, you are sharing news. Instead of sharing news about themselves, a growing number of people are choosing to share links to stories, videos and pod casts that empower the LGBT community with knowledge and news updates. Staying informed is half the battle. Knowledge truly is power. Once we all gain a current perspective on where we stand, in the world, we can move forward, united, in our quest to correct all that which oppresses us. We are better off acting like a community, rather than allowing the differences between us to divide and weaken us all. I’m always sharing gay news updates with my friends on myspace and face book and twitter. I encourage everybody I know to do the same. I’ve lost a lot of online friends who didn’t want my gay news video posted to their myspace pages in a comment, for all to see. These people are mostly just social leeches who are trying to impress people with a large friends list. They do nothing to make the world a better place for anyone but themselves. So, I’m not afraid to give a spammer something to think about on his way out of my online world. I am completely unapologetic about my sexuality. The whole world is just going to have to catch up to my comfort level with who I am, because I’m not going to conform to anything anyone else wants me to be.
I realize that it’s just not this simple for everybody. I went through years of juggling realities for my friends and family. I tried to be what the preacher wanted me to be. I tried to be who my mother wanted me to be. It took a personal tragedy to force me to examine my life and what it is that I stand for. Ladies and gentlemen, what I learned is that I don’t have to pretend for anybody. I am who I am. So are you. Once I fully accepted myself, I learned how to fully accept others. Drama queens? Love you, don‘t like ya much, but I do love you! Leather men? Hell Yeah!!! Bears? OMG, who wouldn’t adore you all? Posers? Love ya long distance, lol. Dykes, of all types, I totally dig you. Lipstick lez? You Rock!. The loving mother of a gay or lesbian child is my eternal friend. The straight classmates who grew up sitting beside me in a small town classroom, witnessed my awkward struggle to know myself, and still call me a friend 35 years after we met as children. You mean the world to me. The kids who helped me find my way in the world as I ran away to Chicago, and kept on running to nearly every major city in the USA before I settled down almost 18 years ago. These are the people who have personally touched my heart.
The definition of marriage.
Main Entry: mar·riage
Pronunciation: \ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry
Date: 14th century
1 a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage
2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
3 : an intimate or close union
As we can see, the Webster’s dictionary, America’s most widely used resource for defining our language, has updated it’s definition of the word marriage to include same sex couples. There is no mention of the word religion in this definition at all.
Still, the right wing would have you believe that marriage is a sacred, religious right, but is it really? The bible tells us more about marriage than it does about homosexuality. In fact, the bible contradicts itself, on the issue of divorce. Under certain circumstances, divorce is okay. For example, if your wife becomes ugly and fat, it’s okay to divorce her. If you find out your wife was not a virgin when you married her, and who’s not going to take your “manly” word for it, well you can just have her publicly stoned to death, and pick out a new virgin bride to spend eternity with. Then, of course there’s the fact that Muslims, and even some Mormon extremists, believe in having multiple wives. I think the sacredness of marriage gets watered down with every wife a man has. How much more sacred can a man’s bond with 50 wives be than that of two men who only love each other? And if religion “owns” the word marriage, as it claims to, then why doesn’t it also own the word “divorce”. If marriage is not a legal institution, as it is claimed, but rather, a religious one, then why do half of all marriages in the USA end in divorce court?
Nobody is demanding that any church perform same sex wedding ceremonies. This is a myth that is used to fuel the bigotry of the right wing. Churches retain the same right to refuse to marry any couple they choose. No church can claim the right to the word marriage, unless every church can. Unless God descends from heaven today with an affidavit, and an endorsement of one, or more, of these religions, that gives them the word marriage, they don’t own it. For as long as the word marriage is printed on state and Federal legal documentation, paid for by the tax dollars of LGBT citizens, then it should be a freedom that is extended to all, as is. In fact, churches that would gladly perform same sex wedding ceremonies are having their religious freedom imposed upon by laws which prohibit them from fulfilling their religious obligation. Just so it’s clear, no religion has a monopoly on the word marriage.
Taxation without representation:
When women in the USA are paid, on average, up to 25% less than men, in the workforce, it is taxation without representation. These women are shelling out huge chunks of their paychecks to fund a government that isn’t doing everything it can to ensure their equality in the workforce. Why should women be forced to fund their own victimization? While these tax dollars would be better spent on lobbyists for women’s rights, they are pooled into the National economy and end up on some state senator’s plate as pork spending. Why? It’s because this is the United States of Corporate America, and those corporations are run by, mostly, right wing, religious nuts, who still believe that women should be barefoot and pregnant. This is, but a small sampling of the right wing hatred against gays and lesbians.
Gay and lesbian couples are refused social security benefits for their partners. They are refused spousal, healthcare benefits. They are refused the ability to file joint income tax returns, often resulting in a loss of hundreds of dollars, in annual income, per couple. It is not just these couples who suffer, as a result of this. It is their children as well. Even in a healthy economy, every family needs every dollar they can hold onto. Gay and lesbian couples have always paid into the same tax system as everyone else. To be denied a civil right or freedom is one thing, but to be robbed of the money you would have earned for being heterosexual, by your own government, is absolutely taxation without representation.
When you get past the sexual aspects of any relationship, between any couple of any sex, it all boils down to this. We are all nothing more than decaying, biological creatures who are forced to live amongst one another on this planet we find ourselves on. Most of us have the same 5 senses and bodily functions. Those of us who are lucky have found another biological creature to decay with. Anyone who claims to be in love, yet fails to recognize that same emotion in others, is not in love, they are in denial. The word marriage is mine, and it’s yours, and it’s everybody’s. The hypocrisy that has denied this freedom for so long is being unveiled, and America is finally beginning to see that there is no difference between the love that any committed couple shares, gay or straight. It’s been said that a rose by any other name is still a rose. The same can be said about love. Any heterosexual couple who cannot see the similarities between my love and theirs, doesn’t have a love as strong as mine. For anyone who loves their life partner as much as I love mine, can easily recognize that same love in any other couple. To see that love, and then deny it equality is, in my honest opinion, a damnable sin, if there ever was one.
What any organized religion thinks about marriage is irrelevant to the law. There is a clear separation between church and state. Churches have violated this separation by funding the passing of Proposition 8, the law which bans same sex marriage in California. It’s time for the government to revoke the tax free status of Focus on hating the gay family and any religious organization contributing to the National organization against same sex marriage. The only good thing to come out of all their protesting is the fact that these organizations have nearly broken themselves in California, and will have a hell of a time fighting our equality in other states. We will keep fighting for our rights, and they will keep going broke. Eventually, we will have equality, and they will all be meeting up in a country trailer every Sunday to throw change into a tin plate! The more society learns that homosexuals are not the monsters the right wing wants us to be, the less power the right wing has to abuse. We are stronger and we can outlast the haters and their hate money. It’s time for them to start focusing on their own families now. We’ve had enough of the hypocrisy.
Regardless of how you feel about civil unions, you do not own the word marriage. Religious gays have every right to a wedding ceremony that heterosexuals do, in the church they are accepted into. The more I examine this topic, the more I realize that LGBT people will not be satisfied until the government finally fulfills it’s democratic promise to the people and offers true equality to all of us. Until then, the democracy of every single American citizen is at risk. When they came for the Jews, the gays stood up, and some were taken and tortured and made to wear the pink triangle. When they came for the blacks, the gays stood up, and joined the Rainbow coalition to fight racism. Well, now, they’re coming for the gays. Will you stand up? Will you allow this injustice to continue, or will you rise up against it and speak out? The choice is yours. This is a revolution friends. We are making history. Let’s make the first decade of the new millennium the beginning of a new era of freedom and equal rights for all. Get out there and let your voice be heard. It’s the only way that we are going to make a difference.
I consider myself to be an “arm chair” activist. This doesn’t mean that my activism is any less affective than those who show up at every equality march. I show up for those I can, but my resources and time are limited, and mainly focused on my own family. People are always asking me how they can help. Well, it’s not going to be by sending me money. I never ask for it. Your funds are better off going directly to someone in need. Give a friend with a terminal illness my cd, but don’t buy anything from anybody who isn’t gay friendly. It starts with a sincere desire to help your own community, and it ends with people connecting in a way that helps everybody.
If you have online friends you communicate with, then you are already a citizen journalist. Every time you post a blog or a status update or a tweet, you are sharing news. Instead of sharing news about themselves, a growing number of people are choosing to share links to stories, videos and pod casts that empower the LGBT community with knowledge and news updates. Staying informed is half the battle. Knowledge truly is power. Once we all gain a current perspective on where we stand, in the world, we can move forward, united, in our quest to correct all that which oppresses us. We are better off acting like a community, rather than allowing the differences between us to divide and weaken us all. I’m always sharing gay news updates with my friends on myspace and face book and twitter. I encourage everybody I know to do the same. I’ve lost a lot of online friends who didn’t want my gay news video posted to their myspace pages in a comment, for all to see. These people are mostly just social leeches who are trying to impress people with a large friends list. They do nothing to make the world a better place for anyone but themselves. So, I’m not afraid to give a spammer something to think about on his way out of my online world. I am completely unapologetic about my sexuality. The whole world is just going to have to catch up to my comfort level with who I am, because I’m not going to conform to anything anyone else wants me to be.
I realize that it’s just not this simple for everybody. I went through years of juggling realities for my friends and family. I tried to be what the preacher wanted me to be. I tried to be who my mother wanted me to be. It took a personal tragedy to force me to examine my life and what it is that I stand for. Ladies and gentlemen, what I learned is that I don’t have to pretend for anybody. I am who I am. So are you. Once I fully accepted myself, I learned how to fully accept others. Drama queens? Love you, don‘t like ya much, but I do love you! Leather men? Hell Yeah!!! Bears? OMG, who wouldn’t adore you all? Posers? Love ya long distance, lol. Dykes, of all types, I totally dig you. Lipstick lez? You Rock!. The loving mother of a gay or lesbian child is my eternal friend. The straight classmates who grew up sitting beside me in a small town classroom, witnessed my awkward struggle to know myself, and still call me a friend 35 years after we met as children. You mean the world to me. The kids who helped me find my way in the world as I ran away to Chicago, and kept on running to nearly every major city in the USA before I settled down almost 18 years ago. These are the people who have personally touched my heart.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I was a teenaged Porn Star!
I was a teenaged porn star. Yep, you read that right. It may surprise you to know that I was married to a 32 year old woman when I was 15. You may have read it in one of my previous blogs. What I rarely mention is the fact that when I left her, and ran away to Chicago, at age 16, I was sucked into a life of adult entertainment, and I became the center of it all, for a brief, fifteen minutes of infamy.
Okay, so maybe you’re not shocked at all. Maybe you knew about my porno past. Maybe that’s why you added me, lol. If you’re like most of the people who follow me online, you just figure that I’m taking my rightful place in the world of sex, lies and videotape. I mean, seriously, who doesn’t have a sex tape these days? Only I’ve had these sex tapes following me around for over two decades. So I guess you could say I’m a pioneer of that sort of thing. Either way, I’m not ashamed of doing what I had to do to survive. Behind every porn star, there is a human being with a beating heart that can be broken. Allow me to explain.
I introduced my readers to my brother William as my only full blooded sibling who was younger and gayer than me. Unfortunately, it was in a blog about his untimely and mysterious death at the age of 28. William was 2 years younger than me, and when I left our home in Kentucky, he couldn’t wait to follow me to any city I ended up in. Before his 16th birthday, he told my mother that he was gay, and she allowed him to move to Chicago with me. I’d already dropped out of high school for the second time, and was washing dishes at a pancake house to keep a drab apartment for myself. His needs were greater than I could have met without taking drastic action. I started working a sugar daddy for money. It was a game. He was in the closet. He wanted sex. He wanted to control me with his money, so I let him think that he could. It paid the bills, and it fed my little brother. Most importantly, it kept William off the streets, where he was rapidly meeting hustler boys, as I washed dishes well into the evening at work. It wasn’t until I discovered that William had turned his first trick that I realized what a bad example I had been setting for him.
The look on my little brothers face was guilty. I knew it from the time I first laid eyes on him. As an infant, I studied his every expression, looking for all those thing in him that resemble me. There was so much we had in common, including our sexuality. And so it was easy for me to figure out what he was hiding, and even where he was hiding it. I reached down into his pants and pulled a twenty dollar bill from his underwear. As I held it up to the bathroom light and looked my little brother straight in the eye, I said these words to him, as tears flooded my face.
“I know that I’m a horrible big brother. I understand that you want more than I can give you right now. I love you more than anything in the world, but I cannot allow you to sell your body for money.”
William looked into my eyes, and his face filled with anger and shame. He said, “Chaz, what I just did for this money is no different from what you’re doing with your sugar daddy.”
To which I replied, “Baby brother, I am doing whatever I have to do to take care of you, so that you never have to do what it is that I am doing. I would sell my body. I would sell my soul, if it meant that you didn’t have to give up your innocence the way I did, a long time ago.”
And then I took that twenty dollar bill and I threw it in the toilet, and I flushed it. William never, ever let me forget that day, and I never will. Partly because, that day was repeated several more times, in different cities, over the years. After a bad break up, William would come to me in Miami, with no other place to go. I’d take him in again. During one, desperate month, I had come up very short on my finances. There was no way I was going to be able to even cover the rent, and we were looking at eviction. We had been surviving on pizza and hot dogs. Something had to give, and it was me. I got a call from an old friend who was producing a porno video and they were looking for actors. I thought about it for a couple of days, and my grumbling stomach made the decision for me. I was gonna be a porn star!!!!!
It wasn’t my first time taking my clothes off in front of a bunch of strangers. On my 18th birthday, photographer Dan DeLeo, of Gay Chicago magazine fame, (God rest his soul), snapped the first ever, nude photos of me. The shots were intended for a safe sex calendar that Deleo was planning, which would attract the attention of gay men, and teach them how to practice safe sex. All sex was simulated, and the photos were more artistic than they were pornographic in nature. Unfortunately, Dan died before he could ever get the project fully launched, and so the photos of me are probably collecting dust somewhere in an old Gay Chicago archive. What it did for me, was open up my mind to the fact that the human body is a beautiful thing. I’m not saying that my body was particularly beautiful. In fact, it was so frail, and so thin that rumors were often spread that I had full blown AIDS. Perhaps the most amazing aspect of this entire blog is the fact that I did not ever contract HIV/AIDS. This can only be attributed to safer sex and lots of good luck. Most porn stars I worked with are long dead by now.
So, I flew to Toledo, Ohio, at the ripe old age of 19, to appear in my first gay porn video. It was quite an impressive setup they had. Loads of hi tech equipment, cameras, filters, lenses, bright lights and such. I was instantly greeted as a celebrity, and I hadn’t even spoken my first cheesy line yet. I was given a hotel suite, VIP access with unlimited drinks at the best gay bar in town, and $1,200 for two days of shooting a 3 way scene. Since my co stars were brunettes, I went platinum blonde, to match my Miami tan, and really stood out in the scene. The video got picked up for International distribution, and there was no turning back. I didn’t think of it as selling my soul to the devil. I thought of it as the saving grace that would feed my brother and me. The bills got paid, we were fed, and we both settled down with wealthy boyfriends for a while. All was fine and dandy in our worlds, until Hollywood…..
If you’ve never been to Hollywood, then you may not know just how filthy it really is. It’s the one place, in the world, that I could absolutely spend the rest of my life without ever returning to, and not feel anything at all. It’s cold, and cruel, and fake, and stuck up. It’s a cheap John, at the end of the bar, pretending to play a violin, as a hustler explains his need for cash. It’s just that ugly. Things had been going so well for me. My new boyfriend loved me, and I loved him, more than I loved his money. Still, I had kept a secret from him. I didn’t want him to know that I was a porn actor. Unfortunately, for me, he discovered this fact on his own, one day, and he kicked me out. After liquidating my every asset, and finding myself nearly homeless, once again, at the age of 21, I moved to Hollywood, California. William was living there with a former porn star named Jason Cruz. Dogs weren’t allowed in their apartment, so I took my Yorkie and moved in with a friend of William’s. I got a job as a phone sex actor. I’d sit in a cubicle, in a room full of guys and gals. We would tap into a 900 number that people would spend $4.99 a minute to call, and our job was to keep those people on the line as long as possible. This way, the company made more money. I was on the gay line. Most of the callers would listen to me talk about all the nasty things I wanted to do to them, and hang up as soon as they got off. We did have our regular callers though. There was this guy named Stewey that I got off in at least seven different accents. He never had a clue that he was getting off with the same guy, every night. He thought he was phone sexing a Hindu guy at a 7-11, or a Southern teen who’s in the closet, or an illegal alien who will do anything for his willing white master, if you promise him a green card. I knew how to make some shit up. It really developed my acting skills, even though I no longer pursue an acting career. But it wasn’t enough to pay the bills. It wasn’t long before my roommate asked me to move out and I ended up in a crappy motel, where I could pay by the week. Growing thinner by the day from malnutrition, I knew I had to do something. William had decided to break up with his boyfriend and quit his job, all on the same day, and move into the motel room with me. This was the day that I met Jonny Johnston, porno agent.
Jonny was the classic scumbag type that you’d imagine. He was just fucking creepy! His apartment smelled of dried cum, and young, spaced out, gay and bi boys floated from room to room, smoking pot. That day, Jonny got me high on weed, took some Polaroid snapshots and got me to sign over a large percentage of my future earnings to him. He tried to go down on me, but I respectfully declined. Under no circumstances would I ever be allowing this man to touch me. The only touching anyone would be doing to me, in the future, would be that which put money into my bank account. Jonny got me a string of gay porn gigs, and a photo session before he realized that he was never getting into my pants, and then, he just stopped trying to find me work at all. My immune system had suffered, as a result of starvation, and I caught the worst flu I’d ever had in my life. It could have been pneumonia, for all I know. I couldn’t afford a doctor, so I had to ride it out. I missed over a week of work, and I was fired. My world was collapsing, and I didn’t know where to turn. I had met a man on my flight to Hollywood who lived in Chicago. He begged me to visit him. At this time, I had no choice. I left William behind with the last few dollars I had, and promised I would get him a ticket to Chicago within a week or two, to join me.
Within 2 weeks, I had managed to get myself a job, stripping at a dirty bar, and convinced a 75 year old man to rent an apartment for my dog, in exchange for sleeping in his bed. A week later, I dumped the old man, moved into the apartment, and invited William to come and live with me. I was shocked and saddened to learn that William didn’t want to come and live with me. He had introduced himself to my former porn agent, Jonny Johnston, and then, moved in with him. William gave Jonny the sex I never would, and in return, Jonny got William a contract with Vivid video. It was the chance to be the next big name in the porn industry, and it was all going great, until William accused Jonny of ripping him off. Once that happened, it was all over. William breeched his contract with Vivid, after only one video scene, took the $10,000 cash and came to Chicago to find me. Neither of us ever did another porn video after that.
Now, what you may have noticed is that I haven’t told you my porn name. It’s very easy to find, if you’re so inclined to dig. However, I must state that I do not approve of the gay porn industry. No, I’m not saying that gay porn is bad. It’s the people who produce them that I have a problem with. They make millions of dollars from these videos, and the actors get paid shit. It is exploitative. The gay porn industry doesn’t give a fuck about LGBT rights or equality. They only care about the freedom of expression they use to trap young, starving men in a world of sex, drugs and prostitution. I don’t want you buying these videos and putting money into that industry. I don’t want my young viewers to think there is anything glamorous about porn either. There’s not. It’s hard work, you will never live it down, and you don’t get fairly compensated. If I had been presented with any other, viable option that would have fed my brother and myself, and kept a roof over our heads, I would have taken it. Unfortunately, for me, that was not the case. At the same time, I don’t regret doing what I had to do to survive.
Okay, so maybe you’re not shocked at all. Maybe you knew about my porno past. Maybe that’s why you added me, lol. If you’re like most of the people who follow me online, you just figure that I’m taking my rightful place in the world of sex, lies and videotape. I mean, seriously, who doesn’t have a sex tape these days? Only I’ve had these sex tapes following me around for over two decades. So I guess you could say I’m a pioneer of that sort of thing. Either way, I’m not ashamed of doing what I had to do to survive. Behind every porn star, there is a human being with a beating heart that can be broken. Allow me to explain.
I introduced my readers to my brother William as my only full blooded sibling who was younger and gayer than me. Unfortunately, it was in a blog about his untimely and mysterious death at the age of 28. William was 2 years younger than me, and when I left our home in Kentucky, he couldn’t wait to follow me to any city I ended up in. Before his 16th birthday, he told my mother that he was gay, and she allowed him to move to Chicago with me. I’d already dropped out of high school for the second time, and was washing dishes at a pancake house to keep a drab apartment for myself. His needs were greater than I could have met without taking drastic action. I started working a sugar daddy for money. It was a game. He was in the closet. He wanted sex. He wanted to control me with his money, so I let him think that he could. It paid the bills, and it fed my little brother. Most importantly, it kept William off the streets, where he was rapidly meeting hustler boys, as I washed dishes well into the evening at work. It wasn’t until I discovered that William had turned his first trick that I realized what a bad example I had been setting for him.
The look on my little brothers face was guilty. I knew it from the time I first laid eyes on him. As an infant, I studied his every expression, looking for all those thing in him that resemble me. There was so much we had in common, including our sexuality. And so it was easy for me to figure out what he was hiding, and even where he was hiding it. I reached down into his pants and pulled a twenty dollar bill from his underwear. As I held it up to the bathroom light and looked my little brother straight in the eye, I said these words to him, as tears flooded my face.
“I know that I’m a horrible big brother. I understand that you want more than I can give you right now. I love you more than anything in the world, but I cannot allow you to sell your body for money.”
William looked into my eyes, and his face filled with anger and shame. He said, “Chaz, what I just did for this money is no different from what you’re doing with your sugar daddy.”
To which I replied, “Baby brother, I am doing whatever I have to do to take care of you, so that you never have to do what it is that I am doing. I would sell my body. I would sell my soul, if it meant that you didn’t have to give up your innocence the way I did, a long time ago.”
And then I took that twenty dollar bill and I threw it in the toilet, and I flushed it. William never, ever let me forget that day, and I never will. Partly because, that day was repeated several more times, in different cities, over the years. After a bad break up, William would come to me in Miami, with no other place to go. I’d take him in again. During one, desperate month, I had come up very short on my finances. There was no way I was going to be able to even cover the rent, and we were looking at eviction. We had been surviving on pizza and hot dogs. Something had to give, and it was me. I got a call from an old friend who was producing a porno video and they were looking for actors. I thought about it for a couple of days, and my grumbling stomach made the decision for me. I was gonna be a porn star!!!!!
It wasn’t my first time taking my clothes off in front of a bunch of strangers. On my 18th birthday, photographer Dan DeLeo, of Gay Chicago magazine fame, (God rest his soul), snapped the first ever, nude photos of me. The shots were intended for a safe sex calendar that Deleo was planning, which would attract the attention of gay men, and teach them how to practice safe sex. All sex was simulated, and the photos were more artistic than they were pornographic in nature. Unfortunately, Dan died before he could ever get the project fully launched, and so the photos of me are probably collecting dust somewhere in an old Gay Chicago archive. What it did for me, was open up my mind to the fact that the human body is a beautiful thing. I’m not saying that my body was particularly beautiful. In fact, it was so frail, and so thin that rumors were often spread that I had full blown AIDS. Perhaps the most amazing aspect of this entire blog is the fact that I did not ever contract HIV/AIDS. This can only be attributed to safer sex and lots of good luck. Most porn stars I worked with are long dead by now.
So, I flew to Toledo, Ohio, at the ripe old age of 19, to appear in my first gay porn video. It was quite an impressive setup they had. Loads of hi tech equipment, cameras, filters, lenses, bright lights and such. I was instantly greeted as a celebrity, and I hadn’t even spoken my first cheesy line yet. I was given a hotel suite, VIP access with unlimited drinks at the best gay bar in town, and $1,200 for two days of shooting a 3 way scene. Since my co stars were brunettes, I went platinum blonde, to match my Miami tan, and really stood out in the scene. The video got picked up for International distribution, and there was no turning back. I didn’t think of it as selling my soul to the devil. I thought of it as the saving grace that would feed my brother and me. The bills got paid, we were fed, and we both settled down with wealthy boyfriends for a while. All was fine and dandy in our worlds, until Hollywood…..
If you’ve never been to Hollywood, then you may not know just how filthy it really is. It’s the one place, in the world, that I could absolutely spend the rest of my life without ever returning to, and not feel anything at all. It’s cold, and cruel, and fake, and stuck up. It’s a cheap John, at the end of the bar, pretending to play a violin, as a hustler explains his need for cash. It’s just that ugly. Things had been going so well for me. My new boyfriend loved me, and I loved him, more than I loved his money. Still, I had kept a secret from him. I didn’t want him to know that I was a porn actor. Unfortunately, for me, he discovered this fact on his own, one day, and he kicked me out. After liquidating my every asset, and finding myself nearly homeless, once again, at the age of 21, I moved to Hollywood, California. William was living there with a former porn star named Jason Cruz. Dogs weren’t allowed in their apartment, so I took my Yorkie and moved in with a friend of William’s. I got a job as a phone sex actor. I’d sit in a cubicle, in a room full of guys and gals. We would tap into a 900 number that people would spend $4.99 a minute to call, and our job was to keep those people on the line as long as possible. This way, the company made more money. I was on the gay line. Most of the callers would listen to me talk about all the nasty things I wanted to do to them, and hang up as soon as they got off. We did have our regular callers though. There was this guy named Stewey that I got off in at least seven different accents. He never had a clue that he was getting off with the same guy, every night. He thought he was phone sexing a Hindu guy at a 7-11, or a Southern teen who’s in the closet, or an illegal alien who will do anything for his willing white master, if you promise him a green card. I knew how to make some shit up. It really developed my acting skills, even though I no longer pursue an acting career. But it wasn’t enough to pay the bills. It wasn’t long before my roommate asked me to move out and I ended up in a crappy motel, where I could pay by the week. Growing thinner by the day from malnutrition, I knew I had to do something. William had decided to break up with his boyfriend and quit his job, all on the same day, and move into the motel room with me. This was the day that I met Jonny Johnston, porno agent.
Jonny was the classic scumbag type that you’d imagine. He was just fucking creepy! His apartment smelled of dried cum, and young, spaced out, gay and bi boys floated from room to room, smoking pot. That day, Jonny got me high on weed, took some Polaroid snapshots and got me to sign over a large percentage of my future earnings to him. He tried to go down on me, but I respectfully declined. Under no circumstances would I ever be allowing this man to touch me. The only touching anyone would be doing to me, in the future, would be that which put money into my bank account. Jonny got me a string of gay porn gigs, and a photo session before he realized that he was never getting into my pants, and then, he just stopped trying to find me work at all. My immune system had suffered, as a result of starvation, and I caught the worst flu I’d ever had in my life. It could have been pneumonia, for all I know. I couldn’t afford a doctor, so I had to ride it out. I missed over a week of work, and I was fired. My world was collapsing, and I didn’t know where to turn. I had met a man on my flight to Hollywood who lived in Chicago. He begged me to visit him. At this time, I had no choice. I left William behind with the last few dollars I had, and promised I would get him a ticket to Chicago within a week or two, to join me.
Within 2 weeks, I had managed to get myself a job, stripping at a dirty bar, and convinced a 75 year old man to rent an apartment for my dog, in exchange for sleeping in his bed. A week later, I dumped the old man, moved into the apartment, and invited William to come and live with me. I was shocked and saddened to learn that William didn’t want to come and live with me. He had introduced himself to my former porn agent, Jonny Johnston, and then, moved in with him. William gave Jonny the sex I never would, and in return, Jonny got William a contract with Vivid video. It was the chance to be the next big name in the porn industry, and it was all going great, until William accused Jonny of ripping him off. Once that happened, it was all over. William breeched his contract with Vivid, after only one video scene, took the $10,000 cash and came to Chicago to find me. Neither of us ever did another porn video after that.
Now, what you may have noticed is that I haven’t told you my porn name. It’s very easy to find, if you’re so inclined to dig. However, I must state that I do not approve of the gay porn industry. No, I’m not saying that gay porn is bad. It’s the people who produce them that I have a problem with. They make millions of dollars from these videos, and the actors get paid shit. It is exploitative. The gay porn industry doesn’t give a fuck about LGBT rights or equality. They only care about the freedom of expression they use to trap young, starving men in a world of sex, drugs and prostitution. I don’t want you buying these videos and putting money into that industry. I don’t want my young viewers to think there is anything glamorous about porn either. There’s not. It’s hard work, you will never live it down, and you don’t get fairly compensated. If I had been presented with any other, viable option that would have fed my brother and myself, and kept a roof over our heads, I would have taken it. Unfortunately, for me, that was not the case. At the same time, I don’t regret doing what I had to do to survive.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
A gay fan reaches out to me on video and brings me to tears!
I have been moved to tears by a young man named Kyle, who insists that he is my biggest fan. At this point, I am his, and here’s why. I met Kyle about a year ago online. As I often do, I was looking for nice, LGBT people to send friend requests to, and there was this gorgeous young man’s profile page. Kyle gladly accepted my friend request and began exploring my online content. He loved my songs and videos and blogs. He began writing to me, as many have, asking for advice on issues he was struggling with in his young life. At 19, Kyle had been through hell already. His mother, refusing to accept his homosexuality, would beat on him at home. Finally, one day, she just kicked him out of the house. She used religion as her tool to condemn him. Kyle moved in with his Grandma and he got a job at a grocery store. The past year, Kyle has confided in me about several issues he has. When Kyle was a baby, he had to have his throat operated on, and so his voice is raspy. He witnessed the ugly side of the gay lifestyle when some bitter bitches verbally bashed him on a radio show for being my friend. They made fun of his voice, as if it is something he has any control over. As I did with Kyle’s mother, I cussed those bitches out and put them in their place right fucking quick! Nobody messes with my friend without being called out on it by me. I guess if you really want to understand Kyle’s mom, the only way to describe her is with a song from South Park called, “Kyle’s Mom’s A Bitch!”, but that’s just my observation, which I gladly shared with her before she blocked me online.
What I didn’t realize when I started my online video series on Gay News, was that people would actually benefit from it as much as they have. Kyle says that the example of LGBT pride that I share has strengthened him and helped him to accept himself while the rest of the world catches up. Kyle has had his ups and downs this past year. He’s dated a couple of guys who just didn’t work out. I am confident that any single man with an ounce of taste and a loving heart, could get past the raspy voice and be in awe of Kyle’s stunningly handsome face and really sexy bod! He’s the full package, minus the bullshit backtalk! If I was single, I’d be stalking him, lol. He will make some lucky man a very good partner one day.
For now, Kyle is following in my footsteps, and I couldn’t be more proud of him. He has decided to keep all of his LGBT friends informed with his own “Doctor’s Gay News & Media” videos, and this is his first full show. I’ve been encouraging my friends to do what I’m doing all along, so this makes me very happy. Kyle recently started selling Mon A Vie health drinks to supplement his income. He starts out this video with his own ad for the product, explaining it’s health and pain relieving benefits. After this first story, Kyle gives chazonator.com a plug, and then he goes into a speech about me that reduced me to a sobbing mess. I hadn’t realized just how much I’ve touched this young man’s life until now. I’ve been so blessed through the kindness extended to me by strangers, who became friends, online. Never did I dream that such a blessing as Kyle would enter my life. Never, did I imagine that anyone would take what I do so seriously that they would say the kindest things about me that have ever been said. If I didn’t know my mission, going into the Gay News project I started, I do now. One of my goals is to help other feel as comfortable in their skin as I do. I wear my bisexuality like a second skin, everywhere I go. I would never deny it, or pretend to be anyone else. I had to travel a long, hard road to get here, but I never forgot those who helped show me the way. George Michael, Sir Elton John and even porn star Jeff Stryker helped me along by telling the world they were proud of who they are. If I can continue that kind of legacy, and help others, just by being me, then I’d be happy. To combine my LGBT pride with information that is relevant to our movement of equality is a dream come true for me. I always knew that I was meant to be heard on a large scale, and I was born to be famous. While my fame is slowly catching up to me, it is the climb that is the most rewarding of all. Knowing that I am not alone in this quest means more than I can express with words. I know that people like Kyle, and those who read my blogs, watch my videos and write to me, are with me every step of the way. Together, we keep adding more friends to our trek, and ultimately, we will all come together to celebrate OUR accomplishments. For as much praise as I receive for my efforts, they would be far less fruitful, if not for the amazing people who share what I write and post on my pages. Those of you, including my straight friends, who are not afraid to post my gay news on your sites, and are reaching out to your friends by sharing my content, are the true heroes of the LGBT movement. I can crank out videos until I die, but without you sharing them, they would never be viewed. Kyle is the perfect example of the kind of person I am reaching out to. The fact that he, not only gets it, but that he IS it, makes all the difference in the world.
Here’s Kyle’s video. I am going to be editing it for my next Gay News In Review on March 2nd.
Add Kyle on myspace: http://www.myspace.com/524057663
What I didn’t realize when I started my online video series on Gay News, was that people would actually benefit from it as much as they have. Kyle says that the example of LGBT pride that I share has strengthened him and helped him to accept himself while the rest of the world catches up. Kyle has had his ups and downs this past year. He’s dated a couple of guys who just didn’t work out. I am confident that any single man with an ounce of taste and a loving heart, could get past the raspy voice and be in awe of Kyle’s stunningly handsome face and really sexy bod! He’s the full package, minus the bullshit backtalk! If I was single, I’d be stalking him, lol. He will make some lucky man a very good partner one day.
For now, Kyle is following in my footsteps, and I couldn’t be more proud of him. He has decided to keep all of his LGBT friends informed with his own “Doctor’s Gay News & Media” videos, and this is his first full show. I’ve been encouraging my friends to do what I’m doing all along, so this makes me very happy. Kyle recently started selling Mon A Vie health drinks to supplement his income. He starts out this video with his own ad for the product, explaining it’s health and pain relieving benefits. After this first story, Kyle gives chazonator.com a plug, and then he goes into a speech about me that reduced me to a sobbing mess. I hadn’t realized just how much I’ve touched this young man’s life until now. I’ve been so blessed through the kindness extended to me by strangers, who became friends, online. Never did I dream that such a blessing as Kyle would enter my life. Never, did I imagine that anyone would take what I do so seriously that they would say the kindest things about me that have ever been said. If I didn’t know my mission, going into the Gay News project I started, I do now. One of my goals is to help other feel as comfortable in their skin as I do. I wear my bisexuality like a second skin, everywhere I go. I would never deny it, or pretend to be anyone else. I had to travel a long, hard road to get here, but I never forgot those who helped show me the way. George Michael, Sir Elton John and even porn star Jeff Stryker helped me along by telling the world they were proud of who they are. If I can continue that kind of legacy, and help others, just by being me, then I’d be happy. To combine my LGBT pride with information that is relevant to our movement of equality is a dream come true for me. I always knew that I was meant to be heard on a large scale, and I was born to be famous. While my fame is slowly catching up to me, it is the climb that is the most rewarding of all. Knowing that I am not alone in this quest means more than I can express with words. I know that people like Kyle, and those who read my blogs, watch my videos and write to me, are with me every step of the way. Together, we keep adding more friends to our trek, and ultimately, we will all come together to celebrate OUR accomplishments. For as much praise as I receive for my efforts, they would be far less fruitful, if not for the amazing people who share what I write and post on my pages. Those of you, including my straight friends, who are not afraid to post my gay news on your sites, and are reaching out to your friends by sharing my content, are the true heroes of the LGBT movement. I can crank out videos until I die, but without you sharing them, they would never be viewed. Kyle is the perfect example of the kind of person I am reaching out to. The fact that he, not only gets it, but that he IS it, makes all the difference in the world.
Here’s Kyle’s video. I am going to be editing it for my next Gay News In Review on March 2nd.
Add Kyle on myspace: http://www.myspace.com/524057663
Thursday, February 18, 2010
What it's like to be a "gay" activist
What’s it like to be a “gay” activist? I guess that’s one of the most common questions I get from people who watch my Gay News videos. I am always quick to remind them that I am an LGBT activist, and that gay is just the easiest label for society to place on me. I would venture to guess that more people find me by googling the keywords gay activist, than they do LGBT activist, and my goal is to reach a wide audience. I watch my online audience grow larger every day, and it feels good to know that people are getting something from me that they value in the content I create. As an artist, nothing could be more rewarding than to know that there are people out there listening to my songs. The same applies to my photos, my videos and my blogs. They are all my own, unique creations. I am the controller of my online realm, of which, if you’re reading this, you are a part. Pretty much everything I create, in some way, is connected to activism for equality. From my uplifting song, “Don’t Give Up” to my down and dirty, sticks and stones, controversial, yet timely song, aptly titled, “Faggot” to the outright demand for equality in my most recent song, “Right 2B Gay”. It’s only natural that I would extend this activism into my video projects as well, and that has gotten me into a lot of trouble, LOL.
What’s it like to be a citizen journalist? I look for the angle in every story I cover, that may be overlooked in the media. Being a citizen journalist is not as easy as it may look. In order to find stories that are relevant, timely and interesting to my audience, I sometimes have to do a lot of research. I rely on every major news network in the world, but most of my news comes from 365gay.com where there is unprecedented coverage of gay news 24/7. My goal is not to compete with them in any way, but to share the stories that affect the LGBT community the most. I don’t believe there’s such a thing as being “over informed” when it comes to the issues that directly affect us as human beings. Aside from the long hours of preparation, the technicalities of shooting the scenes and editing them, there’s the aspect of public perception. Regardless of how well I plan my show. How lined up my bullet points and facts are, I always end up pissing somebody off with something I say. Joy Bahar once said something like, “Every public speaker loses half his audience the moment he opens his mouth.” that makes so much sense. Not everybody is going to agree with everything I say, and that’s okay with me. What matters is that they are talking about whatever issue I’ve just informed them about. I don’t care if the think I look like a cheap whore, as long as they get the message I’m putting out.
Does it bother me when people call me faggot or post a comment on my page calling me a pervert, freak, asshole, bitch, fudge packer etc.? Hell no! My favorite new quote is this: “Keep talking shit about me! You’re making me famous!” Of course there are lines that have been crossed by overzealous bitches trying to take my place in the world, but they were quickly handled with full force. My real friends don’t let assholes fuck with me online. Anyone who posts stupid shit on my pages will find their inbox jammed with my defenders, and trust me, it won’t be pretty, LOL. My people love my big gay ass and I love them all right back! Most of my friends list is family. No, I don’t have 44,000 relatives on myspace. I mean family as in “Love makes a family”, as in “We are family! I got all my sisters and me!”. No matter where in the world you travel, even in strictly religious regions of the world, if you have your gaydar turned on full volume, you will find your family members there. It’s that special, knowing wink or nod. That shy resisting stare. That funny tickle in your gut when you’re a lez who see’s a queen in an unexpected place, or vice versa. It’s a magic that makes us all united as one. We recognize each other because we’re supposed to. Ultimately, it will take the unification of us all to overcome the adversity we are facing in the world as a family. My goal isn’t to become a professional newscaster. I’m not trying to win American Idol. I just know that I only have one life, and I don’t want to spend it wondering what if? What if nobody ever marched I a pride parade? What if nobody ever stood up to the cops at stonewall. What if everybody still had to live in fear because nobody was strong enough to stand up and speak out for everyone. I would sacrifice my life to keep it from happening again. We must never go back to the days when gays were forced into shock treatment and considered mentally ill by the American psychiatry. What if there was no Sir Elton John, no Madonna, no Rufus Wainwright? What if there were no gays in fashion? This world would so uncolorful. Even the most stereotypical of us impact our environment in immeasurable ways. We all have our place. Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans, pre op, post op, leather men, bears, foot fetish dudes and chicks, queens, of all shapes and sizes, even bitchy, gay cliques have their place. I’ve been excluded by a member of every afore mentioned group at one time or another, but I don’t hold it against everybody when one person decides they don’t like me. I’ll fight for your rights, even if you don’t want them. I’ll fight for your rights, even if you think you already have them. I’ll keep fighting, no matter how many times I get cussed out, threatened or bashed on the radio. I’ll do it because they’re not just you’re rights, they’re mine. So, I hope this explains, not only what it’s like to do what I do, but why I do it. I’ll tell you right now that I couldn’t make a living at this, if I tried. I do this for the pleasure and peace of mind it brings to do my part in this fight for equality for our family.
What’s it like to be a citizen journalist? I look for the angle in every story I cover, that may be overlooked in the media. Being a citizen journalist is not as easy as it may look. In order to find stories that are relevant, timely and interesting to my audience, I sometimes have to do a lot of research. I rely on every major news network in the world, but most of my news comes from 365gay.com where there is unprecedented coverage of gay news 24/7. My goal is not to compete with them in any way, but to share the stories that affect the LGBT community the most. I don’t believe there’s such a thing as being “over informed” when it comes to the issues that directly affect us as human beings. Aside from the long hours of preparation, the technicalities of shooting the scenes and editing them, there’s the aspect of public perception. Regardless of how well I plan my show. How lined up my bullet points and facts are, I always end up pissing somebody off with something I say. Joy Bahar once said something like, “Every public speaker loses half his audience the moment he opens his mouth.” that makes so much sense. Not everybody is going to agree with everything I say, and that’s okay with me. What matters is that they are talking about whatever issue I’ve just informed them about. I don’t care if the think I look like a cheap whore, as long as they get the message I’m putting out.
Does it bother me when people call me faggot or post a comment on my page calling me a pervert, freak, asshole, bitch, fudge packer etc.? Hell no! My favorite new quote is this: “Keep talking shit about me! You’re making me famous!” Of course there are lines that have been crossed by overzealous bitches trying to take my place in the world, but they were quickly handled with full force. My real friends don’t let assholes fuck with me online. Anyone who posts stupid shit on my pages will find their inbox jammed with my defenders, and trust me, it won’t be pretty, LOL. My people love my big gay ass and I love them all right back! Most of my friends list is family. No, I don’t have 44,000 relatives on myspace. I mean family as in “Love makes a family”, as in “We are family! I got all my sisters and me!”. No matter where in the world you travel, even in strictly religious regions of the world, if you have your gaydar turned on full volume, you will find your family members there. It’s that special, knowing wink or nod. That shy resisting stare. That funny tickle in your gut when you’re a lez who see’s a queen in an unexpected place, or vice versa. It’s a magic that makes us all united as one. We recognize each other because we’re supposed to. Ultimately, it will take the unification of us all to overcome the adversity we are facing in the world as a family. My goal isn’t to become a professional newscaster. I’m not trying to win American Idol. I just know that I only have one life, and I don’t want to spend it wondering what if? What if nobody ever marched I a pride parade? What if nobody ever stood up to the cops at stonewall. What if everybody still had to live in fear because nobody was strong enough to stand up and speak out for everyone. I would sacrifice my life to keep it from happening again. We must never go back to the days when gays were forced into shock treatment and considered mentally ill by the American psychiatry. What if there was no Sir Elton John, no Madonna, no Rufus Wainwright? What if there were no gays in fashion? This world would so uncolorful. Even the most stereotypical of us impact our environment in immeasurable ways. We all have our place. Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans, pre op, post op, leather men, bears, foot fetish dudes and chicks, queens, of all shapes and sizes, even bitchy, gay cliques have their place. I’ve been excluded by a member of every afore mentioned group at one time or another, but I don’t hold it against everybody when one person decides they don’t like me. I’ll fight for your rights, even if you don’t want them. I’ll fight for your rights, even if you think you already have them. I’ll keep fighting, no matter how many times I get cussed out, threatened or bashed on the radio. I’ll do it because they’re not just you’re rights, they’re mine. So, I hope this explains, not only what it’s like to do what I do, but why I do it. I’ll tell you right now that I couldn’t make a living at this, if I tried. I do this for the pleasure and peace of mind it brings to do my part in this fight for equality for our family.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The Clear and Present Danger of Don't Ask Don't Tell
Don’t ask don’t tell is a political hot button, but it’s far more than that. It’s the livelihood of tens of thousands of US military personnel. I was excited to report on my most recent Gay News video that the Pentagon would be holding hearings this week in order to determine the best way to end don’t ask don’t tell. I was disgusted to find out that they anticipate the ultimate decision being made in over a year. Clearly this isn’t good enough, and so it’s back to putting pressure on our president to sign a stop loss into action and suspend this law. It’s time for these incompetent idiots who are getting our soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan finally pull their heads out of their own asses and step into reality.
The word “integration” keeps getting thrown around a lot in this debate. “We need time to figure out how we’re going to integrate homosexuals into the military” says one asshole, “Don’t ask don’t tell has been affective” says another prick, named John McCain. The thing is, not only are neither of these guys gay, but they seem completely oblivious to the fact that they, themselves, most likely served with gay soldiers who were forced to lie about who they were to defend their own country. You call that freedom? I call it a pile of bullshit! Gays are already integrated into the military. They’re just not as bitchy and can’t be as honest as I am, so you don’t always notice them.
This isn’t about enlisting more gay people. It’s not a career choice that most of us would choose. However, when I hear that we’ve lost 10% of our Arabic translators to Don’t ask don’t tell, I wonder how much our military leaders really care about preventing another terror attack on our homeland. It’s like Al Qaeda is paying the Pentagon to stop monitoring them, and to use the gay issue as a cover. It’s the equivalent of corporations paying the government to turn the other way as they plan and execute 9/11 attacks to incite mass fear and control over people so they can initiate an illegal war against a nation without any WMD. (Whew!) They destroyed Iraq so Halliburton could rebuild it. When the only people in the world who are trained to monitor the terrorist chatter are gone, the increased chance of another 9/11 scale attack is incalculable. Didn’t G.W. Bush say that if you’re not with us, you’re against us? Is this how we’re supposed treat the “us” he was referring to? Because all Americans are really just living in a protective bubble that is only as strong as the men and woman who guard and protect us all. So when you refer to us, you must always put our military first and foremost, because they are they people who make every freedom in the general population possible. As long as there is an all encompassing military rule that includes no sex between any service members, then it doesn’t matter if you are gay, straight, black, white or purple! I got two words that will keep “integration” very simple for everybody. “No Fucking!”
And to the bigots who believe that gays and lesbians should not serve openly in our military, ask yourself this. If you were on the front line and you had to be stuck with a homosexual comrade, would you prefer that comrade to be:
A: A person who lies about having a girlfriend, and secretly loathes your overt, unchecked homophobia or
B: An openly gay person who is willing to work with you honestly and prove that he or she can do anything you can.
Gays must maintain a cleaner record than the average soldier in order to excel. These people getting kicked out of our military didn’t just enlist a few weeks ago. These are seasoned professionals who specialize in the most intricate operations. Losing them is not just a loss to the security of our entire nation, it’s a blow to the example that gay and lesbian American soldiers are capable of setting to the world. The invalid fear of the opposition is that overall troop morale will be dramatically affected. What about the morale of the gays and lesbians who are being forced to lie every day in order to keep a job they live for? What about the morale of those soldiers who can’t even pull out a photo of their life partner and look at it without fear of losing their careers?
So, to recap. This isn’t about “integration”. This is about “troop morale”. It’s about homeland security and American freedom. It’s about giving gay American citizens more benefits than any undocumented worker who is lucky enough to breech our porous borders. Illegal immigrants currently have two rights that US citizens who are gay do not. Illegal aliens can join the military, and they can marry a US citizen of the opposite sex. Until our Federal government acknowledges the fact that our constitution was not written in order to exclude any segment of society from equality, we will be the third class citizens who are living in the shadows. I, for one, refuse to stand for that. So I call upon everyone to monitor this situation closely. The time is likely to come, eventually, when I will be asking you to contact your congressmen or women to insist that they vote to repeal don’t ask don’t tell. Will you be on my side when I do? I think it may end up being the only way to get this done, and if so, we have a long, hard battle ahead of us. We must stay strong, and we must be united in our fight. That means everybody, gay, straight, trans, bi, bears and leather men and all. It’s going to take all of our voices, so get your friends activated politically. They all need to understand that 2010 is a make or break year for many of our rights. It will take every voice we can muster to overcome the discrimination that is to come. Brace yourselves friends. I will be with you all the way.
Get on my mailing list today. Just send me your e mail addy right now at holymuthaofgod@sbcglobal.net , and I will get you my first official newsletter with links to the stories I cover in my Gay News videos. It’s about to get ugly, and I’ll update you with my videos every two weeks as they are uploaded. Stay informed, go to Chazonator.com and bookmark the page for real time gay news updates on my home page.
The word “integration” keeps getting thrown around a lot in this debate. “We need time to figure out how we’re going to integrate homosexuals into the military” says one asshole, “Don’t ask don’t tell has been affective” says another prick, named John McCain. The thing is, not only are neither of these guys gay, but they seem completely oblivious to the fact that they, themselves, most likely served with gay soldiers who were forced to lie about who they were to defend their own country. You call that freedom? I call it a pile of bullshit! Gays are already integrated into the military. They’re just not as bitchy and can’t be as honest as I am, so you don’t always notice them.
This isn’t about enlisting more gay people. It’s not a career choice that most of us would choose. However, when I hear that we’ve lost 10% of our Arabic translators to Don’t ask don’t tell, I wonder how much our military leaders really care about preventing another terror attack on our homeland. It’s like Al Qaeda is paying the Pentagon to stop monitoring them, and to use the gay issue as a cover. It’s the equivalent of corporations paying the government to turn the other way as they plan and execute 9/11 attacks to incite mass fear and control over people so they can initiate an illegal war against a nation without any WMD. (Whew!) They destroyed Iraq so Halliburton could rebuild it. When the only people in the world who are trained to monitor the terrorist chatter are gone, the increased chance of another 9/11 scale attack is incalculable. Didn’t G.W. Bush say that if you’re not with us, you’re against us? Is this how we’re supposed treat the “us” he was referring to? Because all Americans are really just living in a protective bubble that is only as strong as the men and woman who guard and protect us all. So when you refer to us, you must always put our military first and foremost, because they are they people who make every freedom in the general population possible. As long as there is an all encompassing military rule that includes no sex between any service members, then it doesn’t matter if you are gay, straight, black, white or purple! I got two words that will keep “integration” very simple for everybody. “No Fucking!”
And to the bigots who believe that gays and lesbians should not serve openly in our military, ask yourself this. If you were on the front line and you had to be stuck with a homosexual comrade, would you prefer that comrade to be:
A: A person who lies about having a girlfriend, and secretly loathes your overt, unchecked homophobia or
B: An openly gay person who is willing to work with you honestly and prove that he or she can do anything you can.
Gays must maintain a cleaner record than the average soldier in order to excel. These people getting kicked out of our military didn’t just enlist a few weeks ago. These are seasoned professionals who specialize in the most intricate operations. Losing them is not just a loss to the security of our entire nation, it’s a blow to the example that gay and lesbian American soldiers are capable of setting to the world. The invalid fear of the opposition is that overall troop morale will be dramatically affected. What about the morale of the gays and lesbians who are being forced to lie every day in order to keep a job they live for? What about the morale of those soldiers who can’t even pull out a photo of their life partner and look at it without fear of losing their careers?
So, to recap. This isn’t about “integration”. This is about “troop morale”. It’s about homeland security and American freedom. It’s about giving gay American citizens more benefits than any undocumented worker who is lucky enough to breech our porous borders. Illegal immigrants currently have two rights that US citizens who are gay do not. Illegal aliens can join the military, and they can marry a US citizen of the opposite sex. Until our Federal government acknowledges the fact that our constitution was not written in order to exclude any segment of society from equality, we will be the third class citizens who are living in the shadows. I, for one, refuse to stand for that. So I call upon everyone to monitor this situation closely. The time is likely to come, eventually, when I will be asking you to contact your congressmen or women to insist that they vote to repeal don’t ask don’t tell. Will you be on my side when I do? I think it may end up being the only way to get this done, and if so, we have a long, hard battle ahead of us. We must stay strong, and we must be united in our fight. That means everybody, gay, straight, trans, bi, bears and leather men and all. It’s going to take all of our voices, so get your friends activated politically. They all need to understand that 2010 is a make or break year for many of our rights. It will take every voice we can muster to overcome the discrimination that is to come. Brace yourselves friends. I will be with you all the way.
Get on my mailing list today. Just send me your e mail addy right now at holymuthaofgod@sbcglobal.net , and I will get you my first official newsletter with links to the stories I cover in my Gay News videos. It’s about to get ugly, and I’ll update you with my videos every two weeks as they are uploaded. Stay informed, go to Chazonator.com and bookmark the page for real time gay news updates on my home page.
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