Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A gay man spends 3 nights with Ted Haggard, and what happened?

Dear readers, I must admit that I when I went digging around in the Ted Haggard news story, I didn’t think that I would get so pulled into this ongoing saga. Mr. Haggard and his wife have actually become people who I consider to be my friends. They have been nothing short of gracious and kind and non judgmental of me, and I have returned that same respect. However, that being said, this letter is too juicy for me not to share with my friends and fans. I got this letter from a fan, and I struggled with whether or not to share it, publicly. It is dirty and nasty and sexy and all kinds of “broke back mountain” action is taking place, in the mind of the writer. It reveals a story that I don’t believe the mainstream media has even bothered to cover. While there have been those who have profited greatly from the fall of Ted Haggard, it should not go unnoticed that there was at least one gay man who had a big crush on Ted Haggard. This man spent the night with Haggard three times. Read what happened in his own words, which were submitted to me via my contact form at chazonator.com

Chaz, I saw your Gay News video about Ted Haggard and I wanted to give you my opinion. First off, let me congratulate you on getting to the truth in your coverage. I never believed that Mike Jones had a three year long affair with Pastor Ted. I live in California now but a few years ago I worked for New Life Church and I got to be a traveling companion to Pastor Ted on three different occasions. He was warm, friendly and respectful. He never did anything that would ever lead me to believe that he was interested in guys at all. I think I know why he has been so controversial.

I felt an attraction to Pastor Ted the first moment I laid eyes on him. I wanted him, and I couldn’t help myself. I knew he was married and I knew it was wrong, but I wanted this man and I was determined to get him. I thought of ways to let him know how I felt. I planned how I would test him and see if he wanted me to. I fantasized about having an affair with Pastor Ted Haggard. For as much as my hard cock wanted it my conscience wouldn’t allow me to make a move on him. I gave him every opportunity to make an advancement on me. I remember waking up and finding him reading the bible on his treo, which is an older kind of I-phone. He would pace back and forth, in his boxers, and pray. One morning, I woke up with wood, and I saw him pacing back and forth. He was wearing different underware this time. They were tight and white. I could see the full impression of his cock and I swear, I almost came on myself just looking at him. As he walked back and forth his huge cock moved with his left leg and his balls jiggled inside his package. I couldn’t stop starring at him, and when he almost caught me I pretended that I was praying too. I was praying. Praying he would fuck me!

I don’t agree with anybody who says that Ted Haggard had a three year affair with anybody. This is so not the person I met. I was shocked to hear that Pastor Ted had sex with Mike Jones. I wished it had been me instead. I would never have made up those stories about him for anything. I would have done anything he wanted me to do and loved it. It’s easy to see how Mike Jones could turn a one time massage that ended in masturbation into a three year affair with Pastor Ted. I’ve often fantasized about a broke back mountain moment with him myself. I never witnessed Pastor Ted acting unusual towards anybody during the whole time I worked with him. He was a perfect gentleman, which is why his wife has stayed with him. He is a dream man. He is gorgeous, he is hung like a horse, and just the thought of a one night stand is enough to make any man fantasize of an LTR with Pastor Ted.


Photos edited by Chazonator, all rights reserved by TedHaggard.com

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Oh look, there's a homeles man showing his penis to kids on the corner. It's ok! He's a recording artist!

You’re invited to my brand new, controversial, butt naked, video shoot. You see, my art isn’t strong enough to gain the attention that my cause requires, so I’m gonna get naked, get arrested, get some attention, and sell some records!!!! Yay!!!! The plan will go off without a hitch, and people will be talking about me for years to come, or until the next artist, one you’ve actually heard of before, does the same thing. I guess you can say that I was inspired by Madonna’s SEX book, back in the early 90’s. If it works for her, it’ll work for me, right? But the real question is, how does this work for you?

Ok, I’m just fucking with you. I have no intention of exposing my genitalia in public. I had you going, didn’t I? And while some of you might say, “Fuck yeah Chaz! Show me yer cock n balls dude!” Others would ask, “What kind of a parent exposes his naked body to children on the street?” I couldn’t blame either, or, for feeling the way they do, but I refuse to be bashed because of how I feel about this issue.

Yesterday, I posted a myspace status update condemning the decision by singer Erykah Badu to purposely get herself arrested for indecent exposure during her recent video shoot in Dallas TX. For the sake of “art” and “a cause”, Badu stripped off her clothing in public, in front of children. I’m not surprised that a lot of people are supporting her. When I was single and didn’t have two straight, teen sons with healthy sex drives and curiosity, I didn’t have a problem with public nudity either. What I didn’t expect was for one of my fans to call me a hypocrite. Yes, I use my sexuality in my art. No, I have never showed my dick or my asshole in any attempt to gain exposure for my music. That hasn’t stopped myspace from deleting my photos, and it didn’t stop you tube from deleting some of my videos, citing my sexy body as the reason. There is a definite double standard in the USA, in which it is more acceptable for a woman to get naked in public than it is for a man. Furthermore, being erotic and being naked are two separate things. The day I show my cock n balls online is the day that people can call me a hypocrite. Until then, they are just spewing crap out the side of their necks! Just because I am not ashamed of my body, it doesn’t give me a license to force the public to look at all of it. That’s not art. It’s indecent exposure, and there’s a reason it’s against the law. If Badu can get butt naked in public, then why don’t we just drop the law, and let everybody drop trow and get it the fuck over with? Perhaps it not okay for non celebs to get naked on the street, but you can imagine what it would be like if every celeb did so. There are a lot of celebs that nobody would want to listen to, if they couldn’t get the image of their naked bodies out of mind. Susan Boyle, naked? Oh hell no!!!!

When Madonna did her Sex book, she was childless. I doubt she could have even imagined that one day, she would have so many kids who would grow up and find her letting a dog lick her body online. God knows I wasn’t thinking of a parenting future when I was down on my luck, doing porno for a living in Hollywood, in my youth. The difference is, I did my videos on a closed set, and have never exposed them to any child. If someone really wants to see me naked, it’ll be a cold day in hell before they see it in a public video shoot.

In my song “Faggot” I wrote the lyric “There is nothing wrong with being naked. There is nothing wrong with showing the whole world your body.” and I still feel that way. Anyone in the world who doesn't want to see your body, should not be forced into doing so. But, personally, I do find something wrong with being naked in front of kids, on the street. I can picture the scenario in my mind of me, trying to explain to a 5 year old child, why there is a woman ripping her clothing off in front of him, in public. That’s not the kind of thing that most parents would want to have to explain to a pre schooler. Badu is the parent of multiple children. If I could ask her only one question today, it would be this.

“If you think it’s okay for you to strip naked in front of my kids, would it be alright if I stripped down in front of yours?” I already know the answer to the question, because I’ve already answered it on my end. Any artist can get naked, but it takes a person with an ounce of common sense to know when, where, and how to do it without looking like a desperate, fading has been, trying to revive a career that never got you on anybody’s A list.

I admit that I am not a fan of Badu. I don’t listen to anything she’s ever produced. She could be Beyonce or Brittney or GaGa, and I’d say the same thing about them, even though I’m a big fan. The difference is that Beyonce, Brittney and GaGa don’t need to show their tits for fame, they have talent that is recognized for it’s artistic substance. There is no trick you can pull to get talent. If it takes full, frontal, public nudity to get you famous, you ain’t an artist, you’re just another fucking stripper!

And so, I am not apologetic for my opinion on this, and I don’t expect anyone who doesn’t agree with me to be either. However, if anyone wants to call me a hypocrite for speaking up about this, they just don‘t know me. We can all agree to disagree without insulting each other, calling one another hypocrites, or blocking people who you agree with 99% of the time because you disagree with them once. The guy who called me a hypocrite is just an insecure asshole who doesn’t belong on my list to begin with. Anyone who is so sensitive that they would attack me for my opinion, needs to go hide in a corner with his fucking tail tucked between his legs. I am not going to change my mind because some asshole can’t agree to disagree.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Jesus hates me, this I know. A fake ass Christian told me so!

“Chaz, you were so sweet, and now you just seem to do nothing but bitch and whine”

This is a comment I received from someone this morning on myspace. I make no excuses for who I am, and like everybody, I can be sweet, or I can be sour. That’s the salt in my sugar, and I wouldn’t be human if I stayed “happy” all the time. I’d be a fucking robot. Accept me as I am or walk away, but don’t ever tell me that I have to be what you want me to be at any given time. Chazonator just doesn’t fucking work that way!

So, WTF? I’m not allowed to get pissed off or use foul language or express myself as a real person anymore because it’s not in keeping with the sweet, witty host of Naked Truth Gay News In Review? Oh hell no! Just because I tone it down in my videos, it doesn’t mean that I am any less angry about the bullshit happening to LGBT people everywhere, that I report in them. I am very angry about the state of equality, and the opposition to it in this world. I am sick and tired of these idiotic assholes who claim to “own” marriage as a religious right. Marriage is a legal institution, and anyone who can’t see that is just blinded by their own fucking hypocrisy! If people are only meant to fuck in order to procreate, then why are there so many senior Christians dating each other? It ain’t just for the companionship! If it’s good enough for Granny, it’s good enough for me!

You know, I encourage people to find spirituality, whenever and wherever they can. I believe in God. I respect the right of others not to. I have never pushed my spiritual beliefs off on anybody. So, why in the hell should I allow anyone to push theirs off on me? I don’t! Anyone who is truly secure in the God they believe in, and the moral values they’ve set for themselves, will not be out bashing others who think differently. I know the difference because I have friends of all religious persuasions. I respect my Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Hindi friends, and those of all other faiths, as long as they respect me. I give what I get. That’s the way it is. For as long as none of these friends is outwardly expressing animosity towards me for who I am, or what I believe, then I will never challenge or question their beliefs. It is only when I am confronted by someone who claims religious superiority over me, while insulting my right to be the free, adult that I am, that my claws come out, and then, it’s fucking on!!!!!

I am not a Muslim, Christian, Jew or Hindu. I am a person who believes in God in my own way. I do not promote my beliefs, but I don‘t put up with anybody who doesn‘t respect them either. I can cut a person into 1000 metaphorical pieces and leave them laying where they stand with my words. If they didn’t hear me the first time, they will feel me by the time I am done, and they will never forget it. The God I worship doesn’t deny me the right to defend myself. I don’t turn the other cheek. I take an eye for an eye, and I take no regrets with me when it’s over. I will never apologize for slamming my front door in the face of anyone who violates my space, my comfort zone, or my spiritual beliefs. They will be sorry they didn’t take no for an answer when they had the chance. If their God is so fucking powerful and mighty that HE could create everything in existence, then why the fuck does he need door to door sales people? Hasn’t he heard of the Internet?

Now I hate to say it, not only because I grew up Christian myself, but because I have a lot of Christian friends. At the risk of pissing some of you off, I gotta tell you that I do not believe in the bible. That doesn’t mean that I think less of anyone who does. It just means that I follow a different spiritual path than you do. Since going public with my sexuality in 2007, as a radio DJ and indie recording artist, I have received a lot of flack from people. I’ve been verbally gay bashed more times than I can count. 100% of the gay bashing I’ve received has come from people who identified themselves as Christians. It took me over a year to understand that these assholes are a vocal minority, and that the vast majority of Christians are amazingly kind hearted people who follow the word of Jesus Christ, first and foremost. Jesus Christ, as I learned from my own Christian upbringing, was never recorded to have said anything negative about homosexuality. Jesus was known as a forgiving, loving, accepting and gentle man. Homophobia is not Christ like, and nobody can prove that it is. Yet, this fact never stopped any of these “Christians” from cussing me out and calling me a faggot. If that’s the only impression that Christ is making on LGBT people, and it often is, then it’s no wonder there is so much tension between gays and Christians in this world. I admit that I still struggle with myself when it comes to fighting off “Christian” hate. I feel baited into perpetuating the battle by having to defend myself against someone who is using the most interpreted and translated book in history against me. It’s an endless and fruitless debate that gets no where, and I’m sick of it. I don’t care who you are or what your religion is, if you start preaching it against me, I will pick it apart and leave you to put it back together in your head, and don’t think I won’t point out the missing pieces. If there’s one thing that I do share in common with Jesus, it is the fact that I am a philosopher. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t point it out unless I’m insulted into doing so by somebody ignorant. Believing that Jesus existed doesn’t make me a Christian. Accepting him as my lord and savior would do that. And while I’ve not done so, nor do I intend to, I cannot ignore the legacy of Jesus Christ, the historic figure whose life has been overly documented. Verses from the book of Leviticus, however, are like my shiny, little, Chinese stars. I won’t hesitate to wield them accordingly when anyone says, “Man shall not lay with man”. Leviticus is loaded with really stupid rules that no sane person in a civilized, modern society could live by. The New Testament condemns divorce, incest, and even stealing more than it does homosexuality. So, when people tell me to read the bible, I tell them to go read theirs, because there’s one passage that makes a hell of a lot of sense to me. “Judge not, lest ye be judged!!!”

The God I worship doesn’t restrict my ability to say the word fuck. My God doesn’t instill any desire in me to judge any other person, but I was born to defend myself. So, when the bible says, “Judge not, lest ye be judged”, I’m not going to wait for God to judge anyone who judges me. I’m on them like stink on shit. My pride is stronger than anybody’s hate.

Anyone who has a problem with my use of profanity, or choice of spiritual belief doesn’t have to stay around and watch me dig my tunnel to hell. There are many souls out there that can be “saved”, but when judgment is a part of the “saving”, it actually drives people away from your God. I actually feel sorry for my gay, Christian friends who have been rejected by their own religious institutions. There is nothing Christian about kicking gays out of your church. Had Jesus been that hateful, I doubt we’d even know his name by now.

Lastly, let me just say that I know atleast one Christian man who has sex with his wife, and I don’t think they’re shooting for another kid either. Is it my right to judge him for this? Absofuckinglutely not! Who am I to tell anybody who, when, how or why they have sex with another human being? And so, for anyone who still just doesn’t understand my defensive position on the issue of religious harassment, just imagine that anyone, of any faith that you do not follow, telling you who, when, where, or why you should have sex with anybody. Wouldn’t that piss you off too?