Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Willow Palin Faggot... Oh My!!!!



Willow Palin
(Mommy taught me how to hate fatties and fags)


Willow Palin has been caught calling a kid a faggot and making fun of another kid for being overweight on facebook.
Sarah Palin is a shitty parent! I’ve been saying it all along. I thought that maybe she gained some maternal instincts when she decided to quit her job as Governor of Alaska, but nope, she was just grubbing more money from a book deal that made her richer and more neglectful of her satanic spawn. Somebody needs to tell Sarah that her little girl Willow is a spoiled little homophobic, fattie hatin’, bigoted bully from hell! And who the fuck names their kid after a tree that looks like it stays stoned anyway? Willow? WTF, did they name her after the tree she was conceived under when Todd picked his nose and fingered Sarah that fateful fucking day? Pa-leeeeeeeeeeze! This little apple didn’t fall far from the tree, and apparently, she landed on her head. This is the perfect example of what happens when idiotic, bullies grow up and give birth to more idiotic bullies. It’s time for the Palin’s to break the cycle. It’s time to stop raising their children like cattle, and actually feed their social awareness. Willow heard that shit from her mama and daddy, and she repeated it with the same hate they’ve shown her. That’s how bullying works. Someone needs to educate this child. As for her mother, well, I believe it’s been said, time and time again, you can’t teach an old bitch new tricks.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for EVIL!!!!!

Will disenchanted LGBT Democrats sway this election? You bet your sweet ass we will! I’ve been bitched out by whiny, pussy-fied gays on facebook for saying it, but I have a right to my opinion, as much as anybody else. Not voting is the new vote! Now, you can do whatever the hell you want with your vote, but I’m writing myself in! Why? It’s because I have lost faith in our system, entirely. Sure, I’ll vote for my local and state representatives, but I am not going to cast a vote for a Democrat, and I damn sure will not vote for a Republican, on a Federal level, because they’re all full of shit! They’re all corporate whores. You want me to jump into the Republican snake pit? Because the Democratic corporate whores sure haven't earned my trust!





Obama has lied to us. He cares more about baiting us into voting for Democrats next month than he does about ending Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Don’t believe me? Consider the following.


DADT was overturned by Federal Judge Virginia Phillips. A day after the military decided to allow gays to openly join, the Obama administration’s Department of Justice appealed, successfully for a stay on the judge’s decision, and put DADT back into effect. Why? Obama said it was because DADT was passed by the Congress, and that Congress should be the ones to overturn it. Clearly, Obama was just using DADT as an election wedge issue, to get gays to vote for a Democratic Congress. He had no intention of getting it overturned in his first term. On his watch? Yeah, he says that it will be overturned “On his watch”. For weeks, predictions and polls have been indicating that the Senate is turning Republican, and the Dems are lagging behind in almost every key state. Obama is not stupid enough to tell us the truth. The truth is that a majority Republican Senate is not going to allow him to pass any equality issue for gays. If I know this, then so does he. He’s trying to extend his “watch” by 4 more years, and I’m not falling for his stick and carrot bullshit. His watch is already over, as far as I am concerned. He’s lied to us, and he’s lied to all American people. Just look around you. Whereas, I was one of his biggest supporters, in 2008, like a lot of others, I won’t be fooled twice in 2012. He can’t keep saying he inherited this war or this economy, when he’s already half way through his term. This is Obama’s war. This is Obama’s economy, and these are his lies. Here’s a list of broken promises.

1) He promised Hispanic voters that he would begin immigration reform in the first year. He hasn’t even started it.

2) He promised to invest in green technology and put Americans to work re-building America’s infrastructure. Our roads and bridges are still falling apart, and electric cars are twice the price of regular ones, the same size, and where are the re charge stations for them, and the ethanol “flex” vehicles? More bullshit!

3) Unemployment has not been significantly reduced. It’s actually increased because the figures don’t take into consideration how many people have collected all they’re going to receive from the benefits, and still can’t find work. It also doesn’t include those who are underemployed, such as part time workers, or those who have had to accept less than half their former salaries. This is his unemployment crisis now friends.

4) Home foreclosures? September saw the highest number of home foreclosures in any month since 30 years ago, while bank CEO’s continue to collect million dollar bonuses, on Obama’s watch. He is the foreclosure king!

Now, before you insult my integrity, with another “Rome wasn’t built in a day” analogy, understand this. Rome wasn’t torn down the day after it was built either. DADT is Rome, and a judge built the end of it, and this asshole tore it down the next day. So that won’t fly here. You can’t keep saying that he hasn’t had time. He’s had 2 years to keep his promises, and all he has done is lie. He should have been presidenting, instead of campaigning, but he only cares about 4 more years of fame. He’s a useless, pathetic fame whore!

So, what are we, the gay democrats who have witnessed his lies, for political gain, supposed to do? Vote Republican? Do you really think we’re stupid enough to vote for their evil, just because it now appears to be the lesser of two evils? Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil, so what’s the fucking point? It’s like jumping into a snake pit because you have a “civic duty” do to so. Fuck that. I’ll write my own name in. At least I know the person I’m voting for can be trusted. I don’t trust any of these corporate whores anymore. When I say that America is no longer a democracy, I mean it. Democracy may mean that the majority rules, but it doesn’t mean the majority has a right to vote against my equality. It also doesn’t mean that the majority should be suckered into voting for the candidate with the most corporate funding, who has more ads that tell his bullshit stories either. Our US Supreme Court was auctioned off to the highest bidder when they decided to allow corporate interests to have the same right to buy candidates as the average citizen. These entities are influencing the masses, who don’t have time to get the truth, and believe the bullshit propaganda they are fed in these attack ads. Our vote doesn’t mean shit anymore friends. So I no longer believe that anyone who doesn’t vote doesn’t have a right to complain. Everyone with an ounce of common sense should have started complaining a long time ago, before our country was hijacked by the same people who fired you, or overcharged you, or worked slave laborers to death so you could afford to shop at Walmart, or those who denied you health insurance, or made you pay more than you would have if you lived in a country that actually gave more of a shit about the health of it’s citizens than it does the profits of its HMO’s. It’s time for everybody to wake up and smell the hypocrisy! Not voting is the new vote. It tells those in power that we see how naked their imperialistic asses really are, and we stand on the principal that voting for the lesser of two evils is just an idiotic, fucking evil thing to do! That’s my opinion, and I stand behind it. If you don’t like it, then you can run away with your tail between your legs, thinking that your vote hold some kind of magical power. It doesn’t!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Naked Truth Gay News In Review - Anderson Cooper! Come Out! Come Out!!!

Check out the video below. If you haven't watched  my online series before, feel free to go to my official website at http://www.chazonator.com/ where the player always has the latest video, and plays everything I've uploaded 24/7.




Monday, October 11, 2010

Suicide in Norman Oklahoma - Letter to town council

R.I.P Zach Harrington


I am disgusted by the latest suicide, of a 19 year old, gay, youth named Zach Harrington, after he was berated at a town counsil meeting in Norman Oklahoma recently. I've just sent the following e mail to them, and I hope they all read it and take it to heart. I encourage anyone else who wants to write to them, and give them a piece of your mind do so, at the e mail address listed at the bottom of this blog. This has to stop! We have to stop it!

I'd like to congratulate your city council, and the bigoted citizens who drove 19 year old Zach Harrington to suicide. Your town is now on the map, as being one of the most intolerant, hypocritical, shameful towns in this so called democracy we call America.

For the record, Zach wasn't asking for "special rights". He wasn't trying to expose anyone to anything that might have occurred in "his bedroom". He was asking for equality, which, to define it for you, means, the same rights that every other tax paying citizen there has. Instead, what he got was a group of hateful hypocrites, posing as Christians, doing and saying exactly the opposite of what Christ himself would have said and done.
I am a gay man with a large online following. I have a same sex partner that I've been with for 18 years. How many of you can say that you've been married that long, to the same person? We have two adopted children. How many of you have adopted, rather than show the world what takes place, "in your bedroom" by popping out little, baby, look a likes, in an overpopulated world? How many of you have sacrificed anything, for anybody, in the name of unconditional love? Clearly not enough!

I saw the video on www.Queerty.com in which an over the hill, overweight hick stood there and condemned my "lifestyle", along with a misguided bi racial, overweight woman, who refused to acknowledge the fact that her own forefathers had to be enslaved, hanged and beaten in order for her to be able to stand there and brag about her degree. Their combined ignorance of equality is only surpassed by their ignorance of the very bible they spew, selective quotes from. You know the bible, the book that says that gluttony and judging others is sinful. They forget that the constitution also protects Jews, Muslims and atheists’ right to equality. They refuse to understand why those of us who actually are producing quality citizens, out of the children rejected by heterosexuals who also claimed to be Christian, are seeking the same legal protection as everyone else. They could show a little compassion, or at the very least, a bit of common sense.

If there is a Christian God, and he is capable of damning, then your city council will be on that list of the damned. The blood of this young, gay man is on the hands of those who cast him away from Christ, and every last one of those idiots will pay for it in hell! You are on a slippery slope, and you’re sliding right into the hell you‘ve condemned us to!

For the record, it's not a “lifestyle“, it's called a life, and it's not the right to have sex that any of us are asking for. We can do that anytime we want. We want the same legal protections for ourselves, which our tax dollars finance, for you to enjoy and take for granted. We will get them, even if we are forced to publicly humiliate every crappy, little town in this country to get there! You are the abomination!

Sincerely, Carl Shepherd

chazonator.com

Write your own letter to these bigots at:

Action.Center@NormanOK.gov

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Fake Celebrities on Larry King Live on Bullying

On Larry King Live last night, the guests included prominent, openly gay entertainers, and then there was Kathy Griffin. Kathy Griffin calls herself a D list celebrity, and she dresses like a tacky drag queen, so she assumes the right to speak for gays and lesbians. That assumption is incorrect, on her part, and here’s why. When Larry asked her what can be done to stop bullying, her answer was: “Come to my show”. Come on Kathy Griffin, is that the best you can do? Come to your fucking show? Like that’s going to end anything. Sure, we can throw money at Kathy Griffin and hope that it makes it to a worthy cause, that actually combats bullying, but that only serves to make her more famous and put more money into her fake, greedy hands. If you’ve read my past few blogs, you’ll know that I don’t trust any organized charity to do the right thing, especially if it’s being pimped out by fake celebrities who spend more money on make up than they do the causes they claim to support. This puts Kathy Griffin down on the Z list in my book!



Chely Wright Claims to be the first openly gay country artist. Lies! That would be K D Lang. Wright took the opportunity on Larry King, last night, to promote herself and toot her own horn so much, that I wondered when she was going to offer a solution, rather than a self promotion. She looks like a porn star, not an activist. She just came out of the closet recently, so, in essence, like her Latino one hit wonder, counterpart Ricky Martin, she’s a day late and a dollar short! I didn’t even know who the hell she was until last night. How the hell are we supposed to look up to these former closet cases who made millions and only came out when it was cool to be gay in Hollywood? We can’t. If you’ve been hating yourself for your entire, public career, and are just coming out of the closet and jumping onto the latest news trend to get more publicity, don’t act like you’re any kind of role model, because you’re part of the problem, not the solution.



And then, there’s Sir Elton John, and his little bit part in the “Give A Damn” video series. Sir Elton says, “Every time I hear about a hate crime, I am shocked and saddened.” Bitch must stay in shock and in a state of constant depression, considering that, here in the real world, there’s a hate crime committed every hour! He can’t spew that shit and go unchecked by me, since he was one of the very people who made me feel like a big whore! I was hired by his assistant to give him a massage, and he asked for a hand job, and paid for it. I didn’t mind stroking his tiny penis to a climax, even though he was cheating on his man when I did, but I wasn’t too happy to see that I was paid only $350 for driving 2 ½ hours to get to his back stage dressing room, and had to wait over 2 hours for him to show up with his entourage. This “give a damn video” appearance is just another way for him to show off his new wig, which looks like a bird’s nest, sticking out of a tree trunk! The man is faker than fake, and I’ve got the back stage passes, and unused concert tickets, and knowledge of his pacemaker and tattoo to prove I’ve experienced his fakeness first hand. If Sir Eltie really “gives a damn” he’ll shell out a million of his own cash to the cause, and put his money where his mouth is. Until then, he should shut his self serving, self promoting, geriatric, old pie hole! Legend my ass!



Wanda Sykes is truly an honest person, from everything I’ve seen from or about her. She’s the real deal. She wasn’t plugging any book, or concert tour, or comedy special last night. This wasn’t about her. It was about ending bullying. Neil Patrick Harris is the same, from what I can tell. Tim Gunn and Nate Berkus appeared on the show with their own positive messages as well, without pimping out themselves for publicity. Margaret Cho was on “Dancing With The Stars”, doing her part to spread the word, because she really cares.



Lance Bass, on the other hand, needs to give it up. Once again, the former N Synch back up singer, wants us to think he gives a damn, when the only thing he’s trying to do is revive his career. While I admit that I was never a fan, I’m even less of a fan of anyone who makes millions, pretending to be straight. Here’s my tip for Lance Bass. Please, go to the moon, and stay there. It’s because of people like my friends and myself who have lived openly, our entire adult lives, that fakers like Bass and Martin, Elton John and Wright can use their homosexuality to get on TV today. We took the brunt of the bullying, when we were vulnerable teens, while they joined the A list for their 15 minutes of fake fame, and gave nothing back to anyone.



Hollywood is a joke friends. Most of the entertainers don’t know when to stop reading a script and really care. My advice to anyone who wants to stop bullying is to open your mouth and speak out against it. More people are likely to believe the average citizen, who has nothing gain by speaking up, than they will any actor who is just playing another role to serve his or her own best interests. Suicide prevention takes real people with real emotion and sincerity. The hotlines are wonderful, and I’m not saying we shouldn’t donate to keep them operational, we should. At the same time, we are all human, and most of us have teenaged people in our lives who can benefit from our experience and our advice. Never underestimate your role in any child’s life. It is far more valuable and affective than anything they can see or hear on T.V.
 
Here's the video clip of the last part of the show that pissed me off the most. Listen to these self serving celebs pretending they care while pimping themselves out to the masses.
 


Here's the link to a video, on a youtube page, by someone who must be well connected to the Corrupt News Network, since they're allowed to post all CNN content and get hundreds of thousands of views.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4MDiQMn79A

Sunday, October 3, 2010

LGBT leadership as much to blame for teen suicide as the bullies. Here's why.

The more we hear about gay, teen suicide, in the news, the more we are hearing from LGBT leadership about the issue. What concerns me the most is that the most prominent leaders of the equality movement only seem to jump on trending issues that will give them more publicity, after the damage is done. What ever happened to being at the forefront of the movement, and actually addressing issues before they become the focus of National news? A few months ago, before the recent rash of suicides making the news, Cindi Lauper and Lady GaGa were on daytime TV pimping out the We Give A Damn foundation, and I got behind it. I reported on the story and gave Cindi Lauper exactly what she wanted…. More free publicity. What I’ve learned since is shocking. I encouraged everyone I know to go to wegiveadamn.org and donate their time or money to the cause. What I’ve discovered since then is that my friends who donated haven’t even received confirmation of their donations. In fact, the website is so impossible to navigate that it’s more like a T shirt shop than a charity organization. My niece had to buy a T shirt just to give money to the cause. Not only does she not have a T shirt yet, but she didn’t even get a thank you e mail, or any response, whatsoever, acknowledging that her money has even been received. That’s not giving a damn! That’s a sick joke, and it makes both Lauper and GaGa look like a couple of typical fame whores, willing to ride on the back of a good cause to gain fans. All you little monsters can get pissed off at me all you want, but you’re a special kinda stupid of you think this is okay, cause it’s not! The only way I see GaGa feeding homeless kids, anytime soon, is if she defrosts that freakish meat dress of hers and grills it up for them! I’ve repeatedly e mailed both of Cindi Lauper’s foundations and have not received a single response. That’s not giving a damn! That’s damning those who give! And for a project that received so much media attention, why in the hell does this foundation have less members than I have on my myspace friends list? I haven’t been on National TV since 2008!




Truth Wins out is a website that claims to counter the ex gay myth and right wing hate. The false mentality that gays can be cured causes so many gays to kill themselves, when they realize that it is a myth. Had the founder of Truth Wins Out not been bashing a gay man on a Christian site, and making fun of his mental health issues, they might have actually done their job and countered the hate. Instead, Wayne Besen, the founder, was actually contributing to it. You can’t claim to counter right wing hate, when you’re joining members of the right wing to hate on a fellow gay man. They’re not the solution, they are the fucking cause!



And if I get one more posted video of Ellen Degeneres and her pre-recorded message on bullying, I’m gonna puke in my own pie hole! She abandoned the gay movement the day she got her talk show and sold us all out to do celeb interviews. When Ellen cares enough to actually address this issue on her talk show, rather than trying to go viral with a video she’s directing to her LGBT fan base, I’ll give her credit for caring. Until then, she’s preaching to the choir, and that’s not going to end this National epidemic, now is it?



Perez Hilton appeared on CNN in a freeze frame skype interview to claim that he’s re-evaluating the way he operates his celebrity hate site. Yeah right Perez! When you grow the balls to start using your own Hispanic name, I’ll stop thinking that you’re just another self hating homo who cares about more than getting your pugged nose featured on any network that will have you!



Back to Truth Wins Out, and their hateful blogs and postings, in which founder Wayne Besen verbally bashes a fellow gay man. If this gay man commits suicide because of something Besen said online, it would make him no better than the students who exposed the Rutgers student on a webcast, and pushed him to jump off a bridge. This isn’t activism. This is gay on gay hate, and we don’t have to support it, yet, you’d be amazed at the organizations that are accepting it. GLAAD, the Stonewall Society, and several members of the gay media have been informed of this situation. Do you think they have bothered to address the issue? If you answered yes, you’d be wrong. They all, apparently condone this behavior, or are afraid to get involved because of the negative publicity it could bring to our movement. This spineless approach by gay leaders and organizations makes me GLAAD I haven’t donated a penny to any of them, and I never will. If you want to help a gay teen, throw money or food or shelter at them yourself, but don’t hand it over to any of these assholes who do nothing for anybody but themselves. Until we get rid of the fake activists who are raking in our gay dollars while giving nothing back to those of who need them the most, we’re only making the problem worse. It’s time to kick them all to the curb and start all over. A leader’s power is only as strong as his number of followers. If you’re a follower of any of the afore mentioned leaders, you’re a part of the problem, not the solution.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Bishop Eddie Long - The hypocrisy of hypocrisy!


Bishop Eddie Long, who operates a tax exempt, mega church, with 25,000 members, has been busted! Yeah, you can say he’s innocent until proven guilty, but if you didn’t say that about Michael Jackson, it makes you as big a hypocrite as Long himself. You can’t have it both ways. Either you take the side of the victims, or the culprit. In this case, without his day in civil court, it’s clear that Eddie Long has a history of hypocrisy, which cannot be denied, or overlooked.




I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I say that Eddie Long is a money grubbing, celebrity wannabe, who feels entitled to luxuries that his congregants aren’t getting, but yet, they pay for, every time they tithe, (put money into his tin can). Whereas, any legit church would use that money to help those in need, and to maintain operations of the building, etc…, Eddie Long has used it to give himself a lavish lifestyle, that most of us can only dream of. He flies around in his own private jet. He drives around in his pimped out Bentley, and he takes young boys on exotic vacations, yet can only afford one bed for them to sleep in together. You’d have to be Helen Keller on crack not to believe that he isn’t the dirty old man these young victims say he is.



And if all this doesn’t demonstrate the magnitude of hypocrisy of this overblown, steroidal turd, how about his position on homosexuality? He’s literally bashed gays, and stomped all over any hope that any young, gay boys listening to him have of getting to heaven. He claims that homosexuality is “spiritual abortion”. I think it’s time for his congregation to abort his tired, old ass, and fast! I also believe that the IRS needs to revoke his tax exempt status. Anyone preaching that kind of hatred toward gays, or any other minority, should not be funded by tax dollars, paid by gays, or any other minority. We paid for the jet this pig flies in. If there’s any kind of vengeful God, like the one he’s promoting, that jet will crash and burn with his nasty, rusty old ass in it! And if you’ve read all this, and you still think there’s a chance that he’s an innocent man, I’ve got a bridge to sell you in Alaska, where his future beard lives.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I was a teenaged prostitute. Why should you give a damn?

There is no greater need for funding in the LGBT community than there is for our youth. All across America, LGBT youth are struggling to come to terms with the way society casts them out and rejects them. The rate of suicide among LGBT teens is double that of the rest of the population. I know this, because I was homeless, and in the street, at a very young age. Even as Wayne Besen, the founder of Truth Wins Out, a non profit gay activism charity, is publicly bashing me for my past, I am not ashamed. I went through hell, and quite frankly, it’s because of people like Besen, and organizations like TWO, which divert funding from those who need it the most, that I experienced a harder time than I should have. Until we gays get our act together, and focus on the weakest among us, we will never be strong, as a whole. While I realize that I am arming Besen, who is attacking me daily, on a Christian website, I feel I must share my story. My hope is that you will take a few moments to picture yourself in the shoes I once wore, as a gay teen, and take with you, an understanding of what it’s like to feel that nobody, anywhere, gives a damn.

To give you the full picture, I have to go back to when I was only 12 years old, living with my mom, in a government subsidized apartment complex in a town called Eminence, Kentucky. I was the eighth, of ten children my mother raised, with the help of social security and food stamps. When a neighbor boy introduced me to his Uncle, a known child molester, I became an innocent victim. The man, whose name was Harry Hardin, had targeted me, specifically because I was gay. I didn’t know I was gay, but apparently, most everyone who met me did. Sensing my insecurity and shame, Harry gained my trust by giving me gifts and taking me to theme parks. One night, during a sleepover at Harry’s house, I woke up to find him performing oral sex on me. It’s hard to describe the combination of feelings I had when this happened. There was guilt, for sure, combined with the excitement of sex, and the fear of the unknown. You see, I didn’t feel very loved, at the time. There was little attention paid to my needs by anyone, and so, I was willing to let Harry do what he wanted to me, because my young body, mind and soul needed nurturing, and I believed that this was the only way I was going to get any of that. A lot of people like to blame their child molester for making them gay. In my case, it was the opposite. My molester chose me because I was gay, and he took advantage of the silence that my shame afforded him, again and again. It took four years for me to understand that I had even been molested. By that time, I was sixteen, and on my own in Chicago, using my body to survive on the streets.

Initially, I was very na├»ve. I’ll never forget my first trick. I had been to the beach with a gay youth group that I had joined, when a friend asked me to walk to the store and get us some chips and soda. He handed me a couple of dollars and I walked a few blocks to Broadway and Belmont, in Boystown. As I walked along, I noticed a car, slowly following me, with an older man checking me out. He smiled. I smiled back. He asked if I wanted a ride, and I said sure. Getting into this mans car could have been the last thing I ever did, but he was kind of cute, and I didn’t value my life as much as I did getting laid. The man proceeded to drive around to the back of a hi rise building and park in a dark corner of the parking lot. He asked if he could go down on me, and I said, sure. He did his thing, and when it was done, he reached into his pocket and pulled out nine dollars.
“This is all I have.” he said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

I didn’t understand. This man seemed to feel obligated to give me something for my time, and who was I to refuse. I returned to the beach, a little while later with two bags of chips and a 6 pack of soda. I told my friend about it and he said to me.

“You stupid bitch! You could have got fifty bucks!”

And that’s when I realized that I would never have to go hungry again, as long as I had something that someone was willing to pay for. The next few tricks were hit and miss, with customers ripping me off, insulting me, and leading me to believe that I was only worth whatever they chose to pay me for my body. This was the height of the AIDS crisis, and some of my clients explained safer sex practices to me. Somehow, I made it through all this without contracting anything worse than crabs. I still consider that to be a miracle. I am now 42 years old and HIV negative.

At seventeen, I let the manager of a bar called Normandy suck me off in the basement dressing room of the bar. I begged him for a job, and he hired me as a stripper. I would get up on the bar, strip down to a thong, and then dodge ashtrays, cocktails and ceiling fans, as I worked my way from man to man, gyrating in their faces, for tips. Some of the older men were generous. Some of the younger men were mean. Eventually, I ended up working for tips only, as the manager was taking my $20 base pay and putting it up his own nose. I’d try to get my money’s worth in free drinks, when patrons weren’t buying them for me. It was easier to wake up with a hangover, than it was to wake up to the reality that I was a teenaged whore in a thong.

By the time I was 19, I had left Chicago for the warmer climate of Miami Beach. Life was much harder there, as I found myself competing with straight boys, hustling the streets for crack. I was lucky and smart enough not to get pulled into the drugs. The sporadic, hundred dollar tricks I turned on the corner of Collins and 21st street, were barely enough to feed me, and did not keep a roof over my head. I spent many nights sleeping near the boardwalk, trying not to get arrested. Desperate for security, I said yes to the first wealthy man who would have me. It didn’t last long, but I did get an apartment out of the deal. In order to pay the rent, after our first break up, I turned to the gay porn industry. My younger brother William, having ran away from home, after coming out to my mom, would stay with me, whenever he didn’t have his own boyfriends taking care of him. This only added to my desperation, and forced me to set a bad example for him that I continue to beat myself up for, long after his untimely and tragic death in 2000. Had I been able to set a better example for him, would his life had taken a different path? This is a question that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

For the record, I did work regular jobs, whenever my living situation lasted long enough to apply for a job and get hired. I was a dishwasher at a pancake house. A waiter at a steak house. I even worked for a market research company, calling people and performing consumer surveys. I wasn’t lazy. I was simply desperate. I didn’t graduate from high school until I was 21, but I did graduate. I never gave up on trying to educate myself, even when there were no available resources for me to do so.

Finally, at the age of 22, after a string of cheap porno video gigs, I met the man I live with today. He offered me security and love and more luxury that I had ever known. I haven’t left his side, since the day we met. On October 6th, it will be our 18th anniversary. I had always promised myself that, if I ever got a chance, I would pay it forward, and help prevent a child from going through the hell I experienced as a desperate child. When the opportunity to foster a baby boy presented itself to us, we accepted, and a couple of years later, we were blessed to be able to adopt him. Shortly after the adoption, his mother gave birth to his baby brother. Without questioning it, we took him in as well, and our family was complete. They are now 16 and 14 years old, healthy, happy and well cared for.

I tell you all this, not to make you feel sorry for me, but rather to encourage you to do your part. If you’ve read this far, and are moved, in some small way, by my life experience, my hope is that you will help a homeless youth today. I’m not asking for your money. I don’t run a charity. What I’m asking you to do is give a damn. In my own opinion, we can cram all the dollars into organizations like Truth Wins Out, and GLAAD, and HRC, but ultimately, until we fix the problems that our gay youth are facing, there will never really be equality. These groups may serve a purpose, but they will be serving a lot less of us, if we don’t prevent these young people from killing themselves, or putting their lives at risk, in the sex industry. And that’s why, without any official connection, or direct, personal benefit to myself, I whole heartedly encourage everyone I know to click on the following link, learn more about ways that you can help, and get involved. It only takes a minute to join Cindi Lauper, Lady Gaga, and other famous celebrities who have added their voices to this campaign to help homeless, LGBT youth. I can’t think of a more worthy, or affective way to ensure our equality than by taking care of those who will be actively fighting for it, in the future.

http://www.wegiveadamn.org/

Monday, September 20, 2010

The gay mafia does exist, and here's the evidence!


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If you’ve been following my blogs for the past few days, you will know that I am embattled in a conflict with Wayne Besen, the founder of Truth Wins Out, a non profit organization, which takes in gay dollars, who has been publicly bashing a fellow gay man in comments he’s submitted to a Christian blog called “Protect Families” The blog is monetized, so every time Besen goes there, he’s putting money in their pockets, thereby supporting them with comments and money. When I called Wayne Besen out on this, he refused to directly answer my concern, and decided to leave the following comment on the protect families blog:

Wayne Besen said...

“Hahaha
The Chasterbator makes me laugh. The only connection to gay money this degenerate lowlife has is to the pennies various Johns left on the motel dresser after tricks. Yet he will "put me out of business." Can I stop laughing?


What we have, is a former failed porn extra in Chaz defending an admitted stalker (Nahmid) with the help of a known child molester. I'm overwhelmed by the credibility of this motley crew.


Losers of the world unite!! Creeps of America speak out!
Seriously, please keep up your little campaign. My job is to battle extremism. A nut like you shows I've angered the right people.”

Oh, you angered someone alright Wayne, but it’s the wrong people, the ones you’re supposed to be standing up for. This will ultimately be the end of your career, begging for gay dollars and enjoying tax exempt status. Had you remained focused on your own mission statement, to begin with, this blog would not exist, and everyone who reads it would never have a clue about what a fraud you really are.



Lisa Darden of HupTalent, an executive producer of LOGO’s Out Music Awards says:

Lisa: “Some people in these circles have a much better track record than others. Wayne and I both have good track records. I don't work with frauds and Wayne has had almost 5 years to prove himself to me and myself to him. We are solid- we don't agree on everything and we do some things very differently but we share a similar heart and we have a similar mission. I KNOW him and I know he is not exposing or calling your friend out for no reason. Your history is colorful too and it would behoove you to make sure you know what your talking about before you start or rather continue this mission to "call Wayne out". You may find yourself in a similar or much worse posistion one day- what goes around does, often, does come around! What I found on my own-honestly troubled me.”

Sounds like a threat to me, one she can follow up on and get sued for!


Lisa: “Apparently Nelson Garcia is a know child-molester who was convicted of possessing child porn. If true- I personally find that to be predatory and repugnant. Children need protection not to be used for sexual gratification for adults. NAMBLA is code for CHILD MOLESTORS CLUB. We have laws in place to protect children for a reason. If this behavior is in your opinion a shining beacon for the gay community- I want to turn in my card as well Carl.”

For someone who claims to have done some investigative reporting on me, Lisa should really get her facts straight. Never have I condoned Nelson Garcia’s crime, nor will I ever. I have no pity for anyone found guilty of molesting a child, and NAMBLA members need to be lined up and shot. I predicted that Wayne Besen would try to connect me to Garcia, who apparently left comments on my blog, and Besen & Lisa have done just that. I’ve never met Garcia, and I am not defending him in any way, shape or form. Besen and Lisa are only discrediting themselves by trying to make a connection that isn’t there. It’s backfiring on them, because it shows how low they will go to cover up their corruption. I have children, and I wouldn’t even allow Wayne Besen near them, much less the convicted child molester that Besen is obsessed with.

And is the following excerpt from Lisa’s e mail an attempt to black mail me into backing off of Wayne Besen and TWO? You decide.


Lisa: “Here's what I found about you....I'm not judging I'm just saying it all lends to or takes away from your credibility...I will only post one- you know there is more.


http://m.gawker.com/5533901/second-gay-escort-claims-sexual-encounter-with-george-rekers “

Yeah Lisa, I know there’s more. I’m the one who put it out there. I gave Gawker a free interview the day I broke the story of my encounter with Rekers. If she had taken the time to review the hundreds of myspace blogs I’ve written, Lisa would know that I’ve been open and honest about the struggles I faced as a homeless gay youth. Where were Lisa and Wayne Besen when I needed a hand up and got nothing but a hand down my pants and a few lousy dollars to get by? Apparently, they were still thinking up ways to milk the gay community for money they don’t deserve. This is a far cry from the bullshit she wrote to me in the following quote:

Lisa: “Our focus is The Next Generation- Homeless Youth and HIV/AIDS- 40 percent of homeless Youth are GLBT many whom have been thrown out because they are gay.”

I was one of those people, and she’s trying to use the hell I went through against me. That makes her a hypocrite!


News Flash Lisa and Wayne, When you bash one homeless, gay youth who was forced into prostitution to survive, you’re bashing them all. You call this pride? I call it hypocrisy that goes against the grain of our movement entirely.

Lisa: “Carl- I have not slandered anyone. Frankly I am way too busy for this stuff. I reached out in what I thought would be a helpful way. OK I can admit when I made a mistake...writing to you was a mistake. Look these exchanges have been between us and no one else.”

Lisa never received any indication from me that her e mails were private. She contacted me, and I’m not giving her anonymity. Writing me was a mistake, because it’s exposed the truth of the matter. Lisa is Wayne Besen’s, very close, friend. Lisa is a producer of Out Music Awards. Wayne Besen is receiving an award. When you connect those dots, it’s clear that Lisa is just giving a friend more publicity and exposure than he really deserves.

Lisa on the price an artist pays to become a member of Out Music:

Lisa: “Its $100 per year and you get 2 free tickets to the OMAs and insurance and all sorts of perks. I don't get it. Its less than $10 per month and your bitching U HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING- YOU Get out there and do it- we can't do it for you and don't promise to we just give you a platform and an opportunity to be recognized as an OUT ARTIST. This is my first year Executive producing and if this the mentality of the artists. Thats sad and really concerns me. I'm busting my ass for these people why? So they can complain when they have done nothing to help?”

In this economy, the starving, gay artist needs every penny he can get. To shell out $100 to Out Music, and receive tickets that are only good if you can afford to get to the show, is a sick joke, not an opportunity. Out Music should recognize ALL openly gay artists, not just those who pay a fee to join. She finishes this last statement by saying the artists have done nothing to help. Without the artists, there would be no Out Music, it would just be Out!

Lisa: “I cannot even believe some of the things you just said and accused me of.. The gay Mafia. Really? Seriously? Come on Carl ...please wake up. What are you doing and WHY?”

I’ll tell you, and the whole world why Lisa. It’s because there is a gay mafia, and no member of it will admit to being a part of it, much like any other mafia. The proof is in the pudding.

1) Accepting money, in exchange for the possibility of airtime on a gay network.


2) Giving away achievement awards to friends who bash gays online, while so many other equality activists never receive an ounce of recognition.


3) Attempting to smear anyone who questions your motivation by insinuating that he supports child molesters, and digging up links that you think you can hold against him.

These are mafia tactics. The next thing you know Out Music will put a horse head on my pillow!

If this isn’t evidence of a gay mafia, I don’t know what is. These are some of the most influential people in the gay rights movement. And we wonder why it’s taking so long for us to achieve equality in this country! I’ll say it again, with friends like LOGO, Out Music, and Truth Wins out, the gay community needs no enemies!


Oh, and for those of you who never heard of Lisa Darden, here's an interesting fact:


Darden also worked for several years in the late 80’s and early 90’s with renowned Forensic Psychiatrist and author Dr. Martin Blinder as a personal assistant. Blinder became well known in the late 70’s for helping Dan White aquire a lighter sentence with the famed “Twinkie defense” after the murders of Gay rights advocate and first openly gay San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone.

Update: If you're considering writing to Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out to tell him that his lack of professionalism and brand of gay on gay hate is intolerable, consider the following response he sent one of my facebook friends, who has forwarded his e mail response to me:

date Sun, Sep 19, 2010 at 1:28 AM



subject Re: TWO Contact Form


...


hide details Sep 19 (1 day ago)






So, let me get this straight.






You were sent by a degenerate 40-something, washed up porn extra circus act who fancies himself an indie rock spectacle named the Chazerbator, who is supporting a fake story peddled by a creep and admitted stalker, David Nahmod, with a gag order who made heavy breathing crank calls to an elderly actress, Grayson Hall. And, Nahmod and Chazerbator cavort online with a known, seemingly insane, pervert with an incoherent, rambling blog that no more than 3 people read. The credibility of this sick, twisted, motley batch of buffoons is overwhelming.






Essentially, sir, I'm proud to have such fools as detractors. It means that i am doing my job, battling nuts and extremists. I wear such criticism with a badge of honor.






Have a good weekend.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Gay Basher Wayne Besen, I am calling you out bitch!

Wayne Besen, Founder of TWO
(Truth Wins Out)


Wayne Besen, I am calling you out! It’s time for you to grow some balls and address the allegations I’ve lodged against you in my recent blog “Gay on gay hate takes TWO (Truth Wins Out)”. Clearly, you’ve read it. Obviously, you cannot defend what you’ve done.

For my readers who haven’t yet read the blog, here’s a summary. TWO is a gay rights organization that claims to monitor right wing hate sites. However, the founder of TWO, Wayne Besen, was recently caught contributing to one of those hate sites by joining in on the bashing of a gay man. That’s right, a gay rights activist is bashing a gay man! It doesn’t get any more twisted than that. One of TWO’s contributors, offering a $30,000 grant to the bogus foundation is a Mr. Van Ameringen, who also, ironically, operates a non profit foundation for the mentally ill. I’ve forwarded my blog to Van Ameringen, with links to the some comments Besen made, in which he bashes the mentally ill as well. With friends like Besen, the LGBT community doesn’t need enemies!

Besen, a Jewish gay men, has stated that he doesn’t find anything racist or homophobic in the statement made by the right wing hate site about a fellow gay Jew named David. That statement was, “You’re an emasculated Jew bitch”. Wayne Besen commented, saying the statement was ok. If that's not a sign of a self loathing sucker, I don't k now what is!

If you donate money to LGBT organizations, I urge you not to drop a cent on this bogus operation called TWO. They’ve done nothing to further our equality, and are currently causing more harm than good. To make sure that every one of the tens of thousands of LGBT people I know are aware of this issue, I plan to produce a brand new Gay News video, complete with pics, vid clips and blog excerpts that will send Besen crawling behind a rock by the time all the truth comes out. Besen had his chance to address this, but he’s ignored me, and continued to contribute to the gay bashing website with his idiotic statements against a gay man. On the day of his big fundraiser, Sept 16, Besen was on this hate site bashing this gay guy. Let’s kick this bitch to the curb, and support those organizations that really do have our own best interest at heart. Self loathing gays like Besen should have no public voice, on our behalf. They bring shame to the very people they claim to represent.



Didn't read the blog with all the dirt on Besen yet? Click the following link to get the real truth about TWO.

Click here to read "Gay on gay hate takes TWO"

Thursday, September 16, 2010

News Flash! Not all gays support same sex marriage... Why?

When I first began publicly fighting for equality, I was shocked to find that some gays just don’t agree with same sex marriage. I realized that I had to convince my own kind of people that they deserve the same rights as everyone else. I can only think of a handful of excuses for why any LGBT person would oppose their own rights.

1) They are total sluts who never intend to get married, but rather, prefer to keep having anonymous sex, without making any commitments.

That’s fine, for you, if that’s what you want. However, you will always have the right to expose yourself to STD’s, the rest of us want to be exposed to equality. So get your slutty ass out to the polls, and speak up for us all. Even a slut deserves equal rights!

2) They’ve lived so long without rights, that they have allowed themselves to believe they are not worthy of equality.

This is probably the most common form of internal homophobia present in our community today. Any gay person who thinks it’s cool to oppose their own rights, is just fooling him or herself. If you think so little of yourself that you don’t want or deserve the same rights as heterosexuals, then turn in your gay card, and let the rest of us keep fighting, but do not tell me I don‘t deserve marriage equality just because you‘re stupid enough to think you don‘t!

3) The last segment of self hating gays who don’t believe in their own equality, typically tend to fall into some kind of cult like religious group that has brainwashed them. They fall for the false belief that Jesus didn’t approve of gays. If your church is telling you that gays are going to hell, you’re going to the wrong fucking church! Christianity defines you as a follower of Christ. Put aside all the words written by men who weren’t Christ for a second, and ask yourself what Jesus said about homosexuality. I’ll save you some time. Jesus never said a bad word about gays. Jesus never condemned us. Jesus never judged us. Christians did, and they were not only wrong, but not true Christians. If you think you’re going to hell, because you spend a few hours a week with intolerant hypocrites who claim to follow Christ, you’re a sucker, and no seriously intelligent gay person would even want to be with you.

I’ve been told that there were actually a self hating group of gays in CA who were fighting against their own rights to vote yes on prop 8. There’s no way around it. If you vote against the equality of your own people, you’re a Judas! Plain and simple! These backstabbing bitches need to be exposed to the LGBT community, and we need to put them in their place.

Oh, I can hear the excuses right now. “I voted for John McCain because I’m not a “one issue” voter” Really? Equality is one issue? From where I stand, equality is multiple, crucial, issues, rolled into one social quest. Equality means that we can’t get kicked out of the hospital when we’re visiting our partners. It means we can’t get fired from our job if the boss discovers we’re gay. It means we can serve our country, in the military, alongside fellow citizens with the common goal of protecting America. Equality means that if your partner gets charged with a crime, you won’t have to testify against him or her. Equality means that when my partner passes away, I receive the same financial benefits that any married couple does. Equality means that the gay child who gets bullied, has his problem addressed in the same manner a straight child should. Equality means that future generations of LGBT people will face less discrimination than we did, and will integrate themselves into society with less stress. Even if you don’t give a shit about your own rights, it is no excuse for robbing our gay youth of a better future than we’ve had.

We all need to be on the same page people. There is power in numbers, and it will take all of our voices to gain the equality we deserve. Maybe you don’t like the word marriage. I don’t like the words dog shit, but if it was a term that came with 1049 rights that have been denied me, all my life, then I’d support dog shit! Marriage is not a religious tradition. If it was, then atheists wouldn’t be getting married. Marriage doesn’t belong to Christians, it belongs to everyone of every religion and those with none. Marriage is not for the purpose of procreation. If it was, then my mother wouldn’t have married 3 times, and had no children with her last 2 husbands. Infertile couples aren’t being denied marriage on this basis, why should gays? And when it comes to tradition, well, I think the tradition of slavery demonstrates how tradition must change in order to achieve the goals of our constitution which declares us all equal.

“The majority of Americans don’t support same sex marriage.” If the majority jumps off a cliff…… This is the most lame excuse of all. Since when did the majority start making the rules for the minorities? If we agreed with the majority, historically, slavery would still exist, interracial couples would never have been allowed to marry, and Christianity (the false version) would dictate all of our laws. The most iconic people of our time, rose to fame on the premise that they didn’t follow the majority, blindly. Martin Luther King, and other civil rights activists who changed the world didn’t fall for any “go with the flow of the majority” mentality. We are not sheep. We cannot allow ourselves to all be herded into the wrong direction. We must take a stand against discrimination, even if it means standing up to the majority. If we don’t, we will never receive equality.

When I was 4 years old, my parents made me watch the entire, groundbreaking series, “Roots”. In the series, a slave named Kunta Kinte was captured and beaten relentlessly. His slave owner wanted to change his name, but Kunta refused to answer to anything but Kunta. “Name Kunta!” Kunta Kinte”! He would say, over and over again. He didn’t want to let go of his identity, just because a slave driver wanted him to. Any gay man or woman who doesn’t support equality for us all, would be like Kunta saying, “Oh fuck it! Just call me John!” Don’t be a pussy! Don’t give in and never give up!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Gay On Gay Hate Takes TWO (Truth Wins Out)

Gay On Gay Hate Takes TWO

Since becoming a public figure in 2007, I’ve received hundreds of thousands of e mails from my fans. Most of them are kind letters of support for equality. Many of those letters have been from LGBT people who have a real problem, and have no where else to turn. Such was the case with a letter I received a few months ago from a man named David.

David wrote me to say that he had been in a relationship with another man who suffered from mental health issues. Having devoted himself to caring for his partner’s needs, David was shocked to discover that a “Christian” couple had been working behind his back to encourage his partner, in his weak mental state, to leave David and move in with them. Oh, and they wanted him to bring his disability check too! Had David and his partner been married, they would have been forced, by law, to resolve their differences, or get a divorce. David could have his partner admitted to a mental health facility to determine his state of mind, and receive counseling, possibly even couples counseling. Because they weren’t married, David lost his partner to a couple of right wing nuts. Plain and simple. David reached out for help.

David contacted TWO (Truth Wins Out) a prominent gay rights group, and requested legal advice. Initially, it seemed the organization was willing to help him, and advocate on his behalf. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, there was a breakdown. TWO could not help David after all. They tried to tell him, but he found it hard to believe that he had no option at all. The more David persisted with TWO and pleaded for their help, the less interested they became in helping him at all. In fact, by the time David was writing his letter to me, TWO had already taken the time and energy to publicly bash David in a blog on their official website. They questioned his own mental health, and referred to him with very derogatory terms. That’s when I got involved.

Truth Wins Out’s motto is, “Fighting Right Wing Lies”. Slandering a gay man who comes to you for help is not accomplishing that goal at all. In fact, it’s completely counteractive, and makes us all look like back biting bitches. TWO does not represent the gay community, and here’s why. I contacted the writer of the afore mentioned TWO blog (Michael Airhart) to confront him about the slanderous statements he’d made against David. The blog writer agreed with my assertion that he had overstepped a boundary with his insults, and agreed to remove them from his blog. I left the situation alone. Anyone can make a mistake, and this blogger was clearly overly emotional when he verbally bashed a gay guy who came to him for help. Unfortunately, it didn’t end there.

This morning I received an e mail from David with some links to various statements made about him online, very recently. Wayne Besen, the founder of TWO has taken it upon himself to publicly attack David. If Wayne wants to verbally berate a fellow gay man, he should do it in private. TWO is a non profit organization that relies on donations to function. I believe it’s only fair that everyone who has ever donated a cent to their organization becomes aware of the waste of resources exhibited in this blog. TWO enjoys tax free status, as a non profit. My gay tax dollars shouldn’t be going to support any group that claims to support gays, and then spends time, energy and web space bashing one of our own.

Since when did Rush Limbaugh and the Tea Party homophobes stop mattering so much that leaders of “gay rights” organizations can turn their focus to eating our own movement from the inside out?

Below are a couple of excerpts from the TWO blog comments, which have angered me to the point of shining a spotlight on their hypocrisy. These statements were made by Wayne Besen, regarding David.

“In my view, you are insane”

“Yet, like a psychopath, you persist”

“Mr. Nahmod, please move on before you further embarrass yourself and damage your already diminished reputation. You are becoming a circus act and a laughingstock. No one takes you seriously.”

(You’re wrong Wayne Besen. I take David seriously, and you are a fucking sick joke on the gay community!)

“Obviously, you have access to the Internet, so please take some time to find a good team of well-trained doctors. Or, consider checking yourself into a secured, padded facility until you work things out.”

“In 20 years of activism, I have not met someone so fucked up as yourself. Not even in my travels in Religious Right circles while doing research have I encountered someone as crazy as you. Without apology, I can say that you are a bizarre, hate-filled individual who fixates on people with the goal of destroying them.”

You can view the entire posting at the following link:
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/2010/07/9508/


For any gay rights organization to make such strongly worded, cruel and unusual statements about a gay man, in public, is a shame to us all.

And Wayne Besen, I hope you’re reading this, because I have a message for you. Are you a mental health professional Mr. Besen? Because if you are, you should know that the definition of insanity is repeating the same action, over and over again, and expecting a different result. When you continue to publicly bash David, while expecting him not to defend himself, it demonstrates a questionable mental state on your part. I have dealt with loved ones who suffered from mental illness, Mr. Besen, and it’s no fucking joke! If, indeed, David is as mentally ill as you want your donors to believe he is, then why the hell are you worsening his state with this horrendous bullying? You are an organization. David is one man. If you can’t use your web tools to delete his comments, the maybe you shouldn’t be running a fucking website to begin with. Back the fuck off of my friend, or I will point out your hypocrisy and bring TWO down for once and for all. If you’re not with us, you’re against us, and so far, you’ve only demonstrated the latter, in this case. You will not receive a cent from any of my tens of thousands of gay fans after this. You fucked up!

To view a blog that is entirely dedicated to persecuting David Nahmod click the following link. Check out the comments and statements made by these right wing nuts about how they are conspiring with a gay rights group to mentally harm a gay man. These facts are undeniable.

http://protectfamilies.blogspot.com/2010/09/we-are-not-anti-semitic-and-strongly.html

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I'm not dead. Lady GaGa isn't always right, and gays don't have to support illegal immigration!

Dear friends, It’s been forever since I last blogged. I apologize for my long absence, and the sparse amount of time I intend to spend online in the future. My life isn’t changing. I am changing my life. My priorities are changing. I’ve been so busy fighting for equal rights in this country that I have not taken the time to really enjoy the wonderful rights that I do have, such as the freedom to pursue happiness with my family. For all the rights that bigoted, fake, Christians want to deny everyone like me and my family, there is one thing they cannot ever take away, and that is our happiness. I have so much love in my home. I am so blessed with a partner and two children who love me so much. I don’t need anything else, and I never did. That doesn’t mean that I will stop expecting people to treat me with the same respect I give them. Nobody steps on my toes without learning a lesson. That will never change.

The face of gay activism is changing, and it’s not as pretty as it should be, in my observation. Men who never put on a speck of make up are dressing up in drag as cartoon characters to protest prop 8. I understand that they want to be anonymous and there’s still a lot to fear, but it’s not a circus parade, it’s a civil rights protest. Save that shit for the pride parade, but don’t bring ridiculous, stereotypical shit to a marriage protest. It’s just plain stupid and does nothing for the cause of equality for anyone but freaks, which we are already viewed as by too many true freaks of society as it is. You want respect? Look respectable! It’s a good fucking place to start! You won’t see me showing up at a gay rights protest in full make up or a thong. There’s a time and a place for everything. The time and place for those things is after dark in a gay bar, or perhaps on your personal you tube page.

3 years ago Lady GaGa was nothing but a concept directed at the LGBT demographic which makes up a large portion of record sales. Now she’s the icon of the equality movement. I always applaud the efforts of any celeb who has the guts to come out of the closet. The problem is that the big celebs tend to be given a pedestal on which to speak on behalf of ALL LGBT people. What I’ve discovered is that it’s really not such a good thing. Not all gays agree with Lady GaGa. Many gays find her taste and her music to be overly sensationalized and too hypersexual for the teens who worship her, and the fans she calls “little monsters”. While I doubt that I will ever stop loving Lady GaGa or her music, I can’t say that I really like her form of activism, or the belittling way she refers to her fans. I am nobody’s “little” anything. I’m just a guy who likes her songs. Nothing less and certainly nothing more in her busy eyes. I’m a grown man and I don’t need society thinking that a pop icon with a hot ass is the speaking for me. I‘ve been speaking for myself since GaGa was a fetus. Her latest attempt to tie the LGBT equality movement with a pro illegal alien agenda is twisted.

Gays and illegal immigration:

Gays have the right to oppose illegal immigration, and the severe damage it causes society and our economy, without our most prominent speakers trying to make us all sound like we’re in the same boat with those who crossed our borders illegally. We’re not. Illegal aliens can always get married, as long as they’re straight, and there’s nothing wrong with that. ALL American citizens should be able to marry whoever they want, regardless of where they are from. What pisses me off is that gays and lesbians receive less rights that illegal aliens, under our constitution. That’s fucked up! Regardless of how you feel about illegal immigration, you can’t deny the fact that heterosexual illegal aliens have the right to marry, in any state, in the USA and gays and lesbians do not. That’s not a reason to hate illegal aliens. I would never suggest that anyone do that. However, we must not be blind to the fact that there are an estimated 12-20 million people in this country who are using the emergency room as a family doctor, raising medical and insurance costs for us all. They are receiving food stamps and medical cards that are being paid for with tax dollars of hard working US citizens. For every single illegal alien who is breaking the law to be here, there is a legal immigrant, at the back of the line, waiting for his application to be approved. Would you let someone cut in line in front of you? I sure as hell wouldn’t! Legal immigration benefits all Americans. Illegal immigration opens the door to identity theft, increased unemployment and overburdened local, state and Federal programs designed to help America’s poor, not every poor person who hates their own country so much they come here for a free handout. You don’t have to agree with me. You can call me a racist, but you’d be wrong. I haven’t mentioned race in this blog at all. Go back and read it again if you think I did.

The Facts:

Anyone who calls me a racist for my realistic view on illegal immigration is in denial of the facts. While it’s true that an estimated 75% of illegal immigrants cross the Mexican border, it is also a fact that not all of those illegals are Mexican. In fact, Mexico is just the corrupt gateway with coyotes and drug lords and human sex traffickers of choice because the border is so porous. That’s not the fault of illegal aliens. That blame lies squarely on our own government and to each and every citizen who has supported the slave trade on the border for decades. There are 300 Million people living in the USA. Our country was attacked, within our own borders on 9/11. We all have a responsibility to make our voices heard on border security. We cannot address it without addressing the hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens, who could be coming here to harm us, via our most lethal border. I’ve been speaking up, publicly for increased border security and enforcement of the Federal immigration laws that are already on the books since 2007. This issue is only going to get worse, so I strongly advise everyone to brace yourselves. Without a government that has the balls to enforce the laws we already have, there is little hope of a resolution anytime soon. Until then, racism will rear it’s ugly head, on both sides of the debate, while our border remains insecure and tax payers continue to fund the education, medical care, food stamps, and criminal legal fees for those who broke our law the moment they overstayed their visa or crossed the border without a legal right to do so.

I realize that not everybody agrees with me, and you have that right. However, to address it before it happens…. I am not a racist. I lived in South America. I speak fluent Spanish. I love my friends from all corners of the globe. At the same time, I am a patriot and I love the country that I was legally born into and call home. If you want to disconnect from me because we disagree on any issue, that is your prerogative. Just know that it takes a very weak person to pull the race card and dismiss me, based on my opinions. I never say anything because it’s popular. While it’s true that there is no shortage of fat, lazy Americans, I know, first hand that there is no lack of fat, lazy, illegal aliens out there who are milking the system and not putting anything into it. I can’t judge all people by the actions of a few, but that doesn’t stop those who oppose my views from doing so. To call me a lazy American, or a cracker or a honkey, is just plain ignorant, and I’ve got no time for that shit. Truth be told, I am half Native American, so all of you can just pack up and get the fuck off of my land!!!!! LOL Seriously though, you don’t see Native Americans trying to turn back time and reclaim the land that was conquered from them. My ancestors never enslaved anyone. Native Americans continue to struggle in their own battles for civil equality in the USA. Until we secure the freedoms of those who belong here, we shouldn’t be advocating for unearned rights of those who are stealing jobs, social services and educational opportunity from our own families. Don’t agree? Fine. Agree to disagree respectfully if you want any respect from me.

I am no longer a gay activist. I no longer make gay news videos. I am just a fellow American citizen with an axe to grind in the occasional blog. I have nothing to gain or lose by speaking my mind. What you see is what you get. Don’t like it? Don’t let the door hit on you the way out! Get it? Got it? Good!

As always, you can check out my official website at www.chazonator.com to learn more about gay rights, activism and how I evolved into who I am today.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

George Reker's second rent boy! More than just another Z list celebrity.....

Well, nobody ever accused me of being professional, but not credible? Let’s not go there! I welcome the opportunity to respond to any legitimate claim that I have ever told a lie about anything. Bring it on. If there is one thing I pride myself in, it is the honesty that I bring to my citizen journalism. I am a public figure, and I’ve often laughed about my own, self professed, Z list celebrity status. I know my place in the world. Here are some basic facts about me that you may find surprising.




1) I have only one conviction on my criminal record, and that is from 1986. I was sentenced to a year of supervision after I punched a guy in the face for calling me a bitch.



2) I do not profit from any of my online activities. The software and samples I use to create my songs, videos and graphics, exceed thousands of dollars, which I have paid, over the course of the last few years. Neither my CD sales, nor adsense revenue from my website or video hosting site have come close to covering the cost of the software used to create them. Therefore, I am not seeking any monetary profit from my online activism. What little revenue that is generated through my online media is currently used to cover the cost of domain registration and site hosting. If you think I am getting rich on my LGBT demographic, think again. My friends are not stupid. I do not beg for money. What I give them costs absolutely nothing for them to enjoy, and pays me nothing monetarily.



3) I am not a member of any LGBT organization. I am an independent artist. I choose to be independent, in order to be free of the corporate binds that tie up so many media outlets and control what we see and hear, in the news. This independence affords me, as an individual, all the freedom of the press, as well as the individual rights covered under the US constitution, regarding free speech and expression. I am not contracted with any commercial entity, nor do I wish to be. My goal is not to become a TV star. My goal is to have a lasting affect on the LGBT movement for equality, by providing uniquely informative and under reported news stories with my own, personal commentary. I’m the rogue, Internet version of Rachel Maddow, Keith Olberman,, and Lou Dobbs, rolled into one big mouthed, bisexual package. The difference is, there is no corporation cutting me a check, so you can be sure that I am telling you the truth, as I see it. I cannot be bought.



4) I didn’t just get over 44,000 myspace friends overnight. I’m not just a has been who never was. I have actively reached out to gays and lesbians on myspace since 2007, when I was the host of a local FM radio show, which I produced, entirely, called “Techno-Tronica Live”. Before I was asked to resign from my voluntary position as a show host at WRLR 98.3 LPFM Round Lake Heights, IL, I had built up quite a following on myspace. I began blogging about anything and everything, and reading blogs by friends. I began to understand the potential uses of social networking as a method of grass roots activism. I was asked to host a radio show for RGIN, (Radio Gay International Network). Click the following link to hear my pod cast: http://technotronica.podomatic.com/entry/2009-03-13T15_48_19-07_00






I began pod casting my show, which aired, live, with a webcam chat, twice a week, for months. I had a free Podomatic account that locked up because listeners had gone over the bandwidth included in the free package. I decided I needed to go bigger, if I was really going to reach everyone who wanted to hear what I had to say. After leaving RGIN, I started producing “Naked Truth Gay News In Review”, my online video series.



The concept of Naked Truth Gay News In Review….



The whole idea came to me one day when I was relaxing in my Jacuzzi. As I watched my friends list on myspace grow into the thousands, I wondered how I could keep all these people happy. What could I do, or say that would make every one of them feel like they are a part of my world? How could I capture and keep the attention of thousands of people, online, who never met me before? Then, it hit me, BAM! I could make a video series, right here at home, in which I tell them everything I would tell any friend over the phone. Most of my friends added me because I am so vocal about LGBT equality, so it only made sense to cover the gay news. But what kind of gay news, and how to cover it? I relied heavily on the blogosphere and 365gay.com for news stories that the mainstream media wasn’t covering, or just not covering enough of, or from the right angle. I gave each story my own, unique twist and shared my pithy opinions on each, sometimes not with much pleasure. My friends loved it so much that they started sharing my videos with their friends, who added me on myspace, and that’s how it all got to where it is today. The videos are amateur, I admit. I have an HD handi cam, but I actually prefer the raw look of a webcam. Someday, it will be retro, and maybe, when equality is shared by all, historians will look back and actually give citizen journalists like me a little credit for furthering our movement, and not backing down to political or corporate interests. Maybe…….



For now, let it not be ignored that the gay mafia has never taken me into the fold. I am not one of the voices that the select few, in charge of who gets airtime, want you to hear. I’m just not gay enough to appear on Ellen, or LOGO, and I’m no where near straight enough to show up on anything else. I guess the only good thing about being me is that I can get recognized by my LGBT family, almost anywhere, but yet I’m not typecast as anybody’s “it” boy. I am my own man, and it will always be that way. Regardless who likes it or not. That being said, I’ve heard a wild rumor that there are people who claim they never heard of me. Hmmm. Well, obviously, you don’t have any LGBT friends on myspace, cause last I checked almost every LGBT person on there has. Before last week, I had never heard the name George Rekers mentioned in any gay media, nor had I ever heard of an organization called Truth Wins Out. If you’ve read this far, well, you have heard of me. In fact, you’ve heard from the only authoritative source. I’ve got no agent, no record label, no desire for 15 minutes of fame as a gay whore, and certainly no interest in making any money on any cause I fight for. So there!



In my next episode of Naked Truth Gay News In Review, I will be investigating the Gay Mafia, in attempt to answer the following questions. Tell me what you think. Leave a comment below.



1) Is there a gay mafia?



2) What would be the purpose of a gay mafia?



3) Who’s running the gay mafia, and who sponsors them?



4) Is the gay mafia doing more harm than good, with regards to the LGBT movement for equality in the USA?



5) Are gay voices being silenced or censored by the gay mafia? If so, how? And why?



6) Does the gay mafia actually perpetuate gay on gay hate?



I’ll also be addressing the whole ex-gay movement, and including real video footage of a man who not only founded one of the most prominent ex gay foundations, he left it in 1979 to be with his gay lover, and still speaks out against the atrocities that continue to occur there. You won’t want to miss the next show, which I anticipate will be uploaded to chazonator.com on May 21st, to coincide with the launching of a Canadian web syndicate that will be adding my videos to their program line up. Some of you may remember some pod casts I did for indietalent.ca last year called “Naked Truth World News In Review”, in which I discussed world news stories and then ranted about them, in my usual way. The site is going global and expanding into television and radio, and they want to take my little gay news series with them. You will not notice any changes in my Gay News format, and there will be no censorship of my reports by anyone. No financial contracts have been signed, and I am under no obligation to perform to anybody’s expectations, other than my own. That’s the way I like it.



Here’s the last episode of the show:



Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The gay mafia strikes again, this time with deafening silence...

A few blogs ago, I talked about the “Gay Mafia” and how they seem to shun me. This couldn’t be clearer than it is right now. When I came forward about the sexual encounter I had with George Rekers, the gay media ate it up and spread it like a barebacker with AIDS. Now, they are calling for a coalition of LGBT organizations to stand behind Rekers Rent Boy. Lucien, the escort pictured watching Rekers handle his own luggage, has gays lining up to offer him all the help he needs. I am so glad that he has people looking out for him. Personally, I have no need for any legal services, and Rekers can sue me and lose, all the way to town. What I want to know is this. Would it hurt any of these, so called, activists for equality, to e mail me and ask, “Chaz, how are you doing?” I guess my dick size and safe sex interests are good enough to turn Rekers on, but I’d have to get a time machine and go back to being a 20 year old twink if I really expect any LGBT organization to give a damn about my feelings or how I might be holding up.




Maybe it’s because I’m bi. The biggest secret in the LGBT community is that the BT are at the end of that acronym because they are truly not a part of the community, as a whole. Unless the majority want to fuck you, or view you as relationship material, they don’t do shit for you. I spent the greater part of my young, adult life getting sucked off for food because of fags like this who won’t give anyone a hand up unless they can get a hand down his pants. I am done with you fuckers! When my side of this story is finally proven, it will be a cold day in hell before I ever become a spokesperson for any agency that doesn’t give a shit about me today, and they can take that to the fucking bank and make a deposit today! I am filled with LGBT pride, but I have to say that the organizations that are supposed to assist us against discrimination, are only assisting themselves to the LOGO network and any TV appearance they can get to raise money. Money that is not being used properly, in my opinion. I used to donate to the ACLU, until the one time I needed advice and they turned me away. Now, I donate to nobody, period. I look at it this way. These assholes aren’t helping me finance the cost of raising my children, why the hell should I help them finance their worthless organization that will never bring anything better to our lives at all? We can donate thousands of dollars to these organizations, or we can give it directly to someone in need. I find the latter far more affective, and life changing.



Just who do these “equality” foundations really work for? Have you ever received any assistance from them for a false arrest by a cop who just wanted to harass a homo? Have you ever been offered the pro bono services of a civil rights lawyer after being fired from a job? Of course not. Unless your case makes big headlines or involves a potential damage settlement that is quite large, these fags don’t even wanna know you exist! That’s not equality. That’s opportunism. If this is the example that the gay mafia is setting for our community, then it’s no wonder there is so much inter-discrimination among us. If you’re not in the mainstream headlines, they’re not going to use you to advertise how much they care about “the average gay”. No ad revenue? No representation! Simple as that. Most “charities” are just money laundering facades.



The LGBT community is filled with fuck ups and double standards, just like every other community. Christians back bite, judge and hate on each other. Hispanics differentiate between high and low class by the shade of skin. Jews look down on anyone marrying, outside the religion, and so on. Gays are no different. Lesbians hate gay men. Gay men hate lesbians. Gays hate bisexuals, and gays, lesbians and bisexuals often refuse to get along with the transgendered among us. It is this divisiveness that has kept us all down for so long. When we finally get to a point, in which we all view each other as equal, we will be on a direct route to equality. Until then, we’re just a bunch of bitches, fighting each other, against our own common cause. Being bisexual does not mean I am confused. The confused person is the one who thinks that where I put my dick is any of his or her business. It no longer shocks me, how fast gay men jump to bash me for being bi, without a second thought of how much bashing they get for being gay. Look in the mirror before bashing anyone, and if you look closely enough, you will realize that nobody has the right to judge anyone who enjoys consenting sex with another adult. Sex workers are people too. It may not be your cup of tea, but it’s the oldest profession in history. I’ve never met a sexually active adult who hasn’t either paid for or exchanged sex for something of value to them. We are all whores, to some degree. The most common whore is the love whore. The love whore will do things they don’t want to do, in order to keep their love alive. They have sex with a headache, or let their partner choose a position they don’t prefer. What do they get in return for their sexual favors? They get relationship security. When I was a sex worker, I only wanted security. The security that comes from knowing you will survive another week, because you just managed to feed yourself. Unlike the love whore, I was always up front and honest about what I wanted and what I was willing to give. Most sex workers are very honest people. It’s society who wants to label them as scum. It’s like the gay marriage issue really. Somehow, some gays seem to think that where I put my penis has an affect on who they are and who they love and how they love them. Unless I’m sticking it in your husband, who I have sex with, and why, is nobody’s business.



Gays need to stop hating on Christians too. There are many gay Christians out there who want to continue their faith. It is not an oxymoron. You can be gay and Christian, and live a perfectly normal, happy life. There are enough fake Christians out there, discriminating like the devil. We don’t need non spiritual gays bashing as well. I am not a Christian, but I’ll be damned if I will sit back and let anyone bash someone who is. So leave people to believe whatever they choose, as long as it’s not hurting you. And if you are a Christian, don’t let these scandals get you down. If anything, it should only serve to remind you that God created us all, even the closet cased preachers who hate on us.



Oh, and one last thing. Dan Savage is a gay activist with a huge following. He is clumping Rekers into the same basket as Ted Haggard. For as famous as any, individual, gay activist may be, they do not represent us all. The fact is that Ted Haggard has become a strong advocate for equality and a friend to gays. It’s just cold hearted and unforgiving to keep twisting a knife in his back, after all these years. There comes a time when people who have made mistakes are done paying for them. It’s time for Savage and others like him to get over it. If these, most famous, activists among us, had been talking about the current enemies of the LGBT community, and putting faces like Rekers in the spotlight, I would have come forward long ago. The reason I do my gay news videos is because of this very fact. The gay mafia controls what you read on their corporate sites. They are partially to blame for our current lack of rights. If they would focus on those who are actively fighting our equality, rather than continuing to beat a dead horse, perhaps we can actually make a difference! Until then, they are just a bunch of corrupt squirrels trying to get a nut! I am filled with gay pride, but I am deeply ashamed of the Gay Mafia and the double standards by which they operate these organizations that actually keep us down, more than they lift us up.

Friday, May 7, 2010

I am the original Rekers Rent Boy!!!!



Are you ready for a shocker? I’m not, but here goes. As many of my friend and fans know, I am a former porn star. What I haven’t discussed, at great lengths, is the occupation I used to feed myself in between video gigs. Yes, this is all in my past, but it continually pops up to haunt me, as life goes on. My most recent revelation involves a story that is becoming more prevalent, in the news. When I was young, and down and out, and in desperate need of income, I did some things that I’m not particularly proud of. I was a whore. I used gay magazine ads and a beeper to generate my clientele, which consisted, mainly, of married men. I had my specific limitations, and my rules were very strict. I never kissed, sucked dick, or got fucked. No matter how poor I was, I was not about to risk getting an STD that I couldn’t afford to get rid of. Here’s the shocker. One of my clients was none other than Professor George Rekers. I had no idea, until this story broke, that this man was the anti gay activist that he is. Now that I am aware of the damage he has caused the LGBT community, I realize that it is my responsibility to set the record straight. George Rekers is neither gay, nor straight. He is bisexual, like myself. Unfortunately, Rekers is also at odds with his faith, and therefore cannot come to terms with his sexuality, privately or publicly. You don’t have to take my word for it, and I openly admit that my word is all that I have. Before I describe my encounter with Rekers, in as much detail as possible, I want to make something very clear. I am not Mike Jones. I met Rekers one time only. I am not planning to write a book or do a one man show about my experience with him. I just want to clear the air and point out his hypocrisy, and that of those who are currently attempting to cover for him. Furthermore, Rekers is no Pastor Ted Haggard. Those who know me are aware that Ted Haggard has become a friend of mine. I believe Ted Haggard is a faithful husband to his wife. He is a dedicated Christian, and he is no enemy of gays. Ted Haggard has apologized, extensively, to the LGBT community for any intolerance of us that he caused before he was outted by prostitute Mike Jones. Yes, it’s a small world, friends, but not small enough to equate me to Mike Jones or Ted Haggard to George Rekers. With that in mind, here’s what happened.




In a city, in the USA, when I was in my 20’s, I committed the illegal act of prostitution with a man named George Rekers. To divulge more information regarding the time and place, at this time, would not benefit me, legally. I was sitting in my apartment, watching TV when my pager went off. It was a caller, responding to an ad I had placed in the escort/masseur section of a local gay magazine. The caller was George Rekers, and he told me his real name, a requirement I had for all of my clients who wanted “outcall” service, meaning that I would travel to their hotel for a “session”. If anything happened to me, the clients name and info would be sitting on my dresser for my roommate to find. Rekers was very specific about the kind of service he expected for the $150 he agreed to pay me. He insisted on only safe activity, and repeatedly asked me if I was “clean”, meaning disease free. I assured him that I was. Rekers wanted a full body massage, and he wanted light, sexual contact. He referred to himself as being “very vanilla”, which I later learned means, no oral or anal. As an escort, I remembered clients like this the most because they are easy money. I fulfilled his request, and by the time I was finished, there wasn’t a single part of his body that my hands had not touched. He wanted a light tickling of his skin, just barely touching his skin, as I glided my fingers up and down his spine, all the way into his crack. He shivered with pleasure with every stroke. I wasn’t in the habit of asking my clients any personal questions. I did, however, answer several questions George had for me. He was very curious to know more about my porno career, which, he had not previously been aware of. When I explained it to him, he seemed repulsed when I got into the details of the oral and anal sex scenes. I sensed that George was struggling with his sexuality, but I had no idea that he was a monster, until now.



I don’t care what the world says. They can call me a liar. They can call me a faggot. They can even call me a whore. What you can’t call me is a hypocrite. This is one situation in which I definitely take the side of the rent boy. This young man was just doing his job. He didn’t ask to get his picture taken or to be publicly outted. If you want to come after someone who knows that George Rekers is a closet case, bisexual man who hates himself and everyone else like him, then you can take my word for it. I’m not longer for rent, and I’m not a boy, but I’m no coward. George Rekers is the worst kind of coward, and I hope that others like me, who know this well, will come forward and share the truth about him.

Below is a photo of how I looked when I met George, next to Lucien, his latest Rent Boy


Chazonator.com all rights reserved.

To learn more about who I am and what I stand for, go to http://www.chazonator.com/

E mail me, with serious inquiries only, at holymuthaofgod@sbcglobal.net